[hvert]

I have had this problem throughout my life, and it's really starting to affect my career as I get older.

I never feel like I can say that I 'know' something. I can have years of experience in a field, but I still don't consider myself an expert.

Other people don't seem to have this problem. They may be far less familiar with something than I am, but they are not afraid to loudly proclaim their expertise, so they get jobs/kudos/whatever, while I sit on the sidelines sort of frustrated.

Does anyone else feel like that? Have you found any ways to get over these feelings?

[pegasus]

Yes indeed! If you acheive some sort of success, it could not possibly be anything that you could have started and carried through. I feel like that all the time. Possibly from old 'parent' tapes that tell you how awful and undeserving you are. But you know, the more you do, the more you are...

Hugs

[Altered Moment]

A form of self sabotage maybe?

[Idiot17]

all the time in the business world. i was never able to proclaim my understanding and theories. yet being that i did everything 1000% it was noticed. so eventhough i didn't scream my knowledge i got places superceding the screamers.

[hvert]

Idiot17, your point is so interesting -- it seems like this is what has changed for me: people no longer notice! Is it because I am getting older? Or dumber?

My boyfriend thought about it and says that he has also noticed this to an extent. His theory is that when we are younger, we put ourselves out there more, are more willing to brag. That kind of behavior is charming in a younger person but not so much in someone who is older.

I think that perhaps people also look more closely at promising youth, in a mentoring way, but figure people should advocate for themselves once they are older.

Zinco, yes, there is some self-sabotage going on. I wish I could stop it.

Pegasus, you captured it perfectly -- I've always felt that my accomplishments had as much to do with luck as anything else (and still feel that way --- how else to explain all the talent that goes wasted and unacknowledged in this world?)

I thought about this some more yesterday and had a few conversations with people. It seems to be a pretty common feeling. I would LOVE to ask one of these people who seems confident with only a very basic experience level what they think about it, if I can come up with a polite way of asking.

[Idiot17]

definitely older, not dumber.

[hvert]

Heh, thanks for the vote of confidence

[-jimi-]

Maybe for your career it is good to brag and fake (which is what I think most people do) but to be completely honest, those people tire me. I'm so tired of self proclaimed experts. My ex boss who was an "expert" in ALL kinds of animals (yea that is correct.... she would never ever say she had to look for info, it was pathetic but people like her are successful... I mean how crazy IS that...), said roaches live for ONE HUNDRED YEARS.

I'd rather people were more honest. I had a doctor who was really good, and when he didn't know something he said I will read up on it and consult other doctors. It felt much safer than the doc I had who dabbled in everything and almost killed me FOUR TIMES.

Having a humble approach these days is not popular. But I'm sure it will make a comeback some day. No one is an expert in everything, we're just not equally good. There is always more to learn.

And then there are those who claim they do "research" when they read up on Wikipedia.

Oh man, don't get me started.

Holding yourself up to high standards is ultra stressful and faking it like most people do, lowers the stress. But IDK... I kind of believe in trying to do your best... old fashioned or what?

Anyway... they are the fakers and impostors. Not you.

Your first step is to understand why you feel uncomfortable declaring your knowledge or expertise. Does this only happen in job related environments or elsewhere as well?

Does this happen with opinions too, or only with hard facts of knowledge? Are you uncomfortable expressing an opinion about something, even if it is in a casual conversation and not job related?

[hvert]

Jimi, that is how I feel! If I don't know something, I don't want to pretend otherwise. I hope that the humble approach does make a comeback someday soon, but I don't see any signs of that happening soon!

Deep Soul, your questions are very interesting and I'm going to spend some time thinking about them. I have this problem with facts and opinions, casual conversations and career or hobby related ones.

I am often confident that what I believe is right for me, but do not want to force my beliefs on anyone else. I often feel like other people are trying to shove their opinions down my throat so I am careful not to do the same to others.

Also, most 'facts' seem about the same as opinions to me. Whatever fact I have to support an idea, there's another fact to counter it.

I wonder if this is related to some troubles I have been having making decisions. I have a tendency to research things to death and have been practicing acting sooner rather than later. Hmm! Thanks again for those questions!