[mulan]

If I knew someone like me I wouldn't like that person...guess I already know someone like me. Indeed there's only one person like me: me.

I'm having this new medications since three months from now. Three months of waiting and hopes and wishes. I don't know until what point I'm really better, a litter bit better.

I'm a crapy person, on tuesday I was selling some tickets (those you can get prizes if your number is the one). It was for helping my sister and my faculty theather group, for their playing. I only sold five. In a class with more than 30 people, I just could convice five. Even the ones that are in my group now, dispite the lots of times I told them to buy at least one, they didn't. I felt ashamed, I was almost begging them, after trying different aproaching speaches, but anyone cared. Other people who are selling, sold more than 40 in one morning.

And I'm always getting disapointed with me in pratical classes: answear with few strembling words, like I was just guessing my answear. And everyone else is so confident. I feel bad about it, can't imagine how pratical evaluation will be like.

I'm use to sit in classrooms not talking with anyone. Everyones around are chatting until the teacher comes, and I'm alone in the croud. If I say something or if I try to join the talk there is a great probability of being ignored.

I can't be funny has them, I can't have something to say. I'm nobody for them and for me. There's this stupid sensation on my head, like it's block, like it doesn't flow. Not everyday, not every time. And my mouth gets dry if I speek...What the hell. And I make a big effort to say something, to interact and be funny, or just say something...but sometimes I realize that I was already thinking, and what I say doesn't reflects what I had to say about it. And I'm so boring.
When I think I'm more lose, then I'm not. How can I know in which days I will be faithfull to me?
There's any pill that will turn this off.

[Verity81]

No pill can turn off feelings, sometimes meds can help you manage them but it sounds like to me you have more of an issue with shyness, sensitivity and low self esteem. Try to get some therapy and practise self compassion. The more you tell yourself you are no good the more likely you will feel depressed and you will isolate yourself further. Say to yourself 'I'm not boring or crappy I am just a little shy and sensitive'. Maybe read the book 'The highly sensitive person'

[Rohag]

Hello, Mulan! I'm sorry circumstances forced you into sales, even if the tickets were meant for something good. In my experience, few people excel at sales. I always found selling a discouraging experience.

Suffering from depression and taking meds makes socialising all the more difficult. More important than talking is being intelligently attentive. That is its own special skill.

Wishing you experiences that boost your confidence in who you really are.