[stephiifaye92]

Im due monday with my first, and it has been a very mentally trying pregnancy. My bf has been wonderful and super supportive through this whole thing. But to be honest giving birth is probably my biggest fear. I hate doctors, beig pregnant is the only reason I have been going. I hate how im supposed to be okay with drs sticking their fingers in me and swabnig me every so often. I hate the thought of an iv, let alone the epidural, the possibility of a emergency c section and only being locally anethesiaed. I hate hate hate the thought of an episiotomy. But I am so sick of being peegnant, ive gained 50 lbs, have a road map on my stomachm awfully huge boobs that I wish I never got, they just make me feel wider and fatter. I hate how self concious I am I want a cigarette so so so bad. And ive been havig anxiety attacks like crazy andni want to break down and cry and freak out and throw things. Butni know it wot solve anything. So im here, feeling like its never going to end and wishing my baby could magically evaporate out of my body and respawn as my son. Im just so beyond depressed and I dont know what to do.

[healingme4me]

the anticipations and unknowns are the hardest. Days before ones first arrival, are difficult, like watching a pot boil or paint dry.
Are you under treatment for your depression and anxiety? If it's hard now, could get worse after, when exhausted body and brain factor in. just something, to monitor.
I labored Friday into Saturday, and wound up with csection. My full haired sons head blocked view, turned out he was sunny side up, good call on all parts. Glad i didn't get a turn around like lady in room next to me while in pre op. Wow...just painful to hear. (know because then husband was talking to womans husband, met in la maz)
After I got home with him, the two of us laid together and tears flowed. Just relieved,to be home with him.
Good luck, keep us updated

To add, vbac wasn't an option for my second son, because of placenta previa, scary, scary pregnancy that was, knowing placenta was across my cervix. They don't option, after two. I did get to choose, a special day for my second son. Doctor tried to talk me out of it, Jewish holiday. But my paternal grams bday.. She passed on the following year, but thrilled knowing her bday was shared, with love
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[littlemiss44]

I know how bad you are feeling hunny. I had two babies via csection. I was terrifed. Scared to be a first time parent. Scared of the epidural etc. It turned out not to be so bad afterall. The drs and nurses know exactly what they are doing. Have faith in that. Make sure and get yr psych meds right after giving birth. It will help with yr emotions. Having a csection turned out to be ok! I didn't feel a thing except for a little pressure when they pulled the baby out but no pain at all. You'll be ok. We all psych ourselves out before having a baby. It's the unknown which is very real. Try not to think of the worst case scenarios. You'll drive yr self crazy! But yr fears are valid. I really do understand them. Just relax in these last few days. Soon you'll have yr beautiful baby in yr arms. The weight comes off quickly. It's all baby weight, water and yr body's way of feeding the baby. It takes a month or two till you see yr weight drop. Take it easy and try to relax ok? We're here for you! I hope I've helped you feel a bit better. I've lived it. Take care and let us/me know how it goes! I'm excited for you!

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