[gloamingone]

My depression was starting to flare up because of trouble between me and my boyfriend. Then I learned some awful news. My favorite ninth grade teacher (who killed himself last month) is being investigated by the FBI for molesting nearly 100 children. I can't get my mind around how someone can be so influential as a teacher, yet destroy so many innocent lives. This man completely redefined my sense of humor, which is one of my favorite things about myself.... But he was a child molester. A monster. How can I be grieving for the suicide of a monster? So confused.

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[TheOriginalMe]

You only knew this person as a teacher and a positive role model, you didn't know his other side, so you grieve. If you can, try to let go of your feelings as soon as you can, otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy and tear yourself in two.

In the UK, we had an entertainer who died a couple of years back. He was highly respected and seemingly did much good work for charity. He was molestor with hundreds of victims and he used his fame to access vulnerable people and his good works to create an unassailable image of respectability. Only after this man's death did the scales fall from people's eyes so that the victims were finally heard.

Sadly, there are too many stories like this in the world. So don't feel guilty that when you knew him, you liked him, he was skilled and manipulative and made people like him. What is important, is that you put him behind you and concentrate on the here and now and straightening things out with your boyfriend.

I guess there is probably a helpline for people who knew this guy to contact, obviously the FBI would want as many victims as possible to come forward, but also the schools that employed him need to offer support too. I'd suggest contacting a helpline as they will be able to guide you through your confusion.

[gloamingone]

The FBI didn't offer anything like that, and I'm sure my old school wouldn't. It's in Saudi Arabia, and I'm in the US, so it wouldn't help anyway. Definitely going to discuss this with my therapist next week.

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[TheOriginalMe]

Talking to your T is definitely a good idea.

In the UK there's a helpline for everything, it seems every TV program is followed up by a message "If you have been affected by so and so's story, please contact our action line", I assumed that other places were like that too.

If you feel it could help and isn't going to trigger you, just Google "Jimmy Savile" to find out about the entertainer I mentioned before. There might be some links to sites that have some good advice even if you can't access them directly.

[gloamingone]

Thank you so much. I wish I knew of a helpline that could help. Six days is a long time before my next appointment, and I've been crying most of the day over this. :-(

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