[LadyDragus]

I want to cut
I want to die

My Grades I got today make me want to die
Grades as foloow

ACC-225-02 C
CIT-120-02 A
PLS-101-03 D
I am very disappotind in myself..
I thougt the first class I was diogn better whichi i am not..
I am ver down right now..
I am very very sad..
This dragon wants to fly away and run away..
this dragon wants to cut, but I know I can not.. I know I can nto for I would have to expalin it to my hatchling why mommie is bleeding where she is not supposed to..
I am sorry if this brings anyone down..
But i am worried ..
I am scared.
I am doing so badly this term..
I no longer want to try

<font color=purple>
world.. You are no longer going to rule me.. "I" I am going to rule myself"

[dexter]

LD

Sorry to hear, are these midterm grades? what courses are they? PLS is probably political science, is acc acounting?

Last time you were talking about a tutor, is that set up yet? if that is just starting then keep hope, there is time to bring these grades up before end of term.

personally i am very happy that although I know this is very hard and stressful, that you are still not hurting yourself and dealing with this by posting here. not cutting is sometihng you have much more control over compared to grades, and is much more important in the long run.

can i ask do you feel like you are learning stuff in your classes? are you interested? I'm not going to say that grades are not important but learning is more important. grades are a symbol of the skills and knowledge youve learned, but they are not the skills and knowledge. grades are important in this society but they make open doors, they don't help at all once you're in those doors, that's when you need the real knowledge.

LD i'm trying to give you some hopeful optimism, i hope you understand i'm trying to cover all bases here. I do have much faith that you will be able to bring those grades up. you are working hard and working constructively to do that, with talking to the counselor and working on a tutor. I also believe you to be very smart and able to understand and to learn. (that doesn't mean that all subjects will be your forte though of course) so i think that working at it will get you results.

but there is also a slim possibility that your grades won't come up and if that happens there needs to be some perspective. first i don't know if the low grades make you feel bad about yourself and your abilities, or if it is just frustrating because you want to do better. if it is the first then you have to realize that there are lots of reasons grades could be low... we talked about understanding the material but not taking tests well... could also be you don't click well with the professors in those two classes... if things go wrong and you still want to pass those courses it is possible that another semester with a different professor, different class, maybe even different textbook things might be totally different.

Bottom line is, while this is important to you, and i'm not saying it shouldn't be, because it is very commendable wanting to educate oneself in any way... keep in mind there are so many important other things going well in your life. fiance, hatchling, doing well in so many ways. And those things are much more long lasting than school. Your marriage will last for the rest of your life. school will pass and sometime in the future won't seem as important any more.

i'm trying to give you lots of ways to think positively about this, i hope it isn't backfiring and reminding you of negative things. bottom line is keep working on it and be proud of working your best and taking such constructive steps to improve.

also, hate to throw in a cliche, but try not to see the glass half-empty. look at your post, did you notice <font size=4>you got an "A" in one of your classes!</font> Try not to forget that you are a success in many many ways, including just in going to school and caring so much about it and working so hard. The "A" shows you can do it so don't give up!

Good luck LD keep working at it but remember that grades are a measure of success of your performance iin your classes but are not a measure of success of you as a person. We here already know what "grade" you get as a measure of your life. (hint it comes with a gold star, and maybe on halloween a pumpkin sticker. gee i miss those

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[LadyDragus]

my tutor up and left the State last week so now I have to go and look for a new one again..

I have told the people in the ACC that I do need help in two subjects, but in amercian goverment (PLS) they do nto offer any toutors in that one, and in Accouting it is hard to find one who teaches teaches the same way my teacher does..

and on that note.. I am almost at a lost..
I will talk to my ACC teacher tommorw and see what he says.. He will hopefully be able to help me out some.. I know I can bring up my PLS grade that is not too big of a concern just yet.. he has talked to me weekly, since I knew I was doing badly, and worked with me one on one weekly. with my notes and ect..

Yes I know I have an A in my CIT class, that is the one I am not having in problems in, for it is my degree.. I love this class. I am starting programing in long hand which is really neat..

<font color=purple>
world.. You are no longer going to rule me.. "I" I am going to rule myself"

[inkblot]

Don't give up. I've had bad luck with classes before, but I managed to bounce back. I did have to repeat a class once, but the second time around I made with flying colors! I know it's easier said than done, but try not to stress out from it. Take a little extra time to relax and focus. By focus, I mean mentally, spiritually, whatever it is, not academically. Like seeking an inner peace? Yoga, channeling, whatever it takes. Even self-hypnosis. Ya know what else might work? Try this the next time it rains: go for a walk and skip through the puddles with a friend! It's a lot of fun!

[shakes]

(((((((((((lady Dragus)))))))))))
I am just like you. I strive for A's and get upset with anything lower so I understand that this is a major source of anxiety and stress for you when it does not work out.
The way that I try to work through my stress with grades is by telling myself that I am doing the best that I can do and whatever grade I get I cannot change it. Even if I know that I could have done better by studying more I did the best I could do before the exam and I cannot change it now. The only thing I can do is work extra hard for the next exam to try to bring up my average.
I hope that you feel better and I know from your posts on the board that you are very strong. I know that you can pull through this and will be ok. Try to stay positive hun.

Stay strong,
Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. {/blue]

[LadyDragus]

I am working on it..
Thank you for all the kind words.. I really needed them..

<font color=purple>
world.. You are no longer going to rule me.. "I" I am going to rule myself"

[LadyDragus]

LOL I will have to do that if it is not cold when it is raining.. My finace would love to do that.. go running around in the rain..

He is silliie enouhg to go in big mud puddles..

<font color=purple>
world.. You are no longer going to rule me.. "I" I am going to rule myself"

[collegefriend]

im sorry to hear that you are not proud of your grades. I agree with everyone. I think your grades are good. Poly sci is a hard class wherever or when ever you take it. My freshman year i was failing my college algebra class and i was freaking out!! I was asking everyone i knew if they could help me, i looked for tutor (found none) i even went and talked to the prof (very scary for me the worst 4 min of my life ) Anyways so when semester grades came out and i got a copy of my transcript and saw that i got a D i starting freaking out again cause i thought i could n't transfer schools i thought i would never get into the teacher educ program. A friend sat me down one night and asked me what class i got the D in, i told her college algebra ans she said that if the class is not part of your major the D is for Diploma. And in all reality its true the only thing that Col Alg or Poly Sci go towards are the gen ed. requirement unless you are a hist or math major. In most schools the gen ed requires you to have a 2.5 or 2.0 or better. So if you do bad in a couple of classes and succeed in others it will balance out. Yeah i was on academic probabtion for half a sememster but then when grades came out i got taken right off of it. I am just not a math person. This semester i am taking another math class and i am getting a C in it right now. Well I hope i have helped with something just remember D is for Diploma LOL!!!!! Take care and CONGRATS ON YOUR 'A'!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LadyDragus]

I just had to share this with all of you. that have replied
I do not feel like I am htting a glass wall anymore, or anylonger..
I got my % Grade today and it was a B-

<font color=purple>
world.. You are no longer going to rule me.. "I" I am going to rule myself"

[dexter]

for the smilie

and for the b-!

congratulations! (nice to see hard work and dedication pay off)

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

Thanks so much for the update Princess Dragonette Pookie Pie. So glad you are feeling happier.

Emmy

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." -- The Dalai Lama

[LadyDragus]

yes it does.. and I thought I was doing so bad.. in that class.

But nope

<font color=purple>
world.. You are no longer going to rule me.. "I" I am going to rule myself"