From the time I was 4-5 years old, I had some difficulties paying attention, very mild and rarely noticeable to those other than my parents. I got along well with others, got good grades in school, and didn't have trouble fitting in to any major extent. However, when I got to around 15 or so, I lost interest in all the things I used to enjoy. I just was disinterested and didn't really feel any pleasure for months. I don't know why, I just didn't. However, I ultimately snapped out of it and got a job which I kept for two years. However, after being layed off and suffering a couple of other losses, I kind of lost it. Not so much down, depressed lost it, but another kind of lost it. I decided I would be nothing like anyone in my family and that I would have no values or care of self image. I stayed up until 3 o clock in the morning every night watching porn and got up around 8 or 9 everyday. I didn't really sleep much. I would always be up to some new crazy thing like going to porn theaters, going on long drives to nowhere, and just doing dumb crap and wasting money on stupid things. Then, after straightening out for a bit, I went to college but ultimately got heavily into drugs which caused me to exhibit the classic signs of narcolepsy for a while (I had shown signs before) but with all the drugs, I was basically passing out in class every class. However, after getting off the drugs and trying to make a decent life for myself, I didn't and even went crazy again. The program I went in didn't go well because I was having trouble with being focused and following directions. This time, I yelled and shouted at my parents about things that happened years ago and would call every hour just harassing them. When I stopped this, I kept saying I was a genius (without ever fully living the delusion). However, I really got on this idea that I was psychic and came up with this grandiose theory that I posted on here about how I figured out how psychic powers are possible using some kind of theories of atoms and vibrational frequencies. Now that I am not under so much stress, I can see how nonsensical all this sounds and I feel like kind of a nut Is there hope of managing this without medications? or am I too crazy for that?

It's kind of hard to answer that. It sounds like you have on and off self medicated. So are you off all drugs now? That would be a start whether you decide on meds or not. You don't want recreational drugs messing with your mind at the same time. It complicates recovery. Assuming you are I support trying but with some help. A therapist or maybe you have someone close you can bounce things off of? It helps to have feedback because it is hard of us to judge our own behavior. If you do decided to speak to a doc bringing that person is really helpful. Most people don't do it but they really should.

After that I think the most important thing is your diet. Learn proper nutrition. Stay away from fads. If you want more on that ask. I don't know what your level of knowledge is. A lot of people suggest supplements is which is fine but most of it can be solved with a whole food balanced diet. Supplements aren't a substitute for a good diet.

Exercise is really, really important. You sound like you have a lot of energy so having a physical outlet is probably going to be very helpful.

Also seek out a meditation or zen center. What is important is getting some mindfulness training. If you already know how to meditate practice.

Hobbies and interests are really important too. You can use them to work out your feelings.

These might seem rather like common sense but they really do work.


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