[mattieak17]

Hey,

I must admit, this is way out of my comfort zone. But I don't know what else to do at this point.

I was raised in a very conservative home. I just graduated high school. I have self-diagnosed clinical depression, and I honestly don't know what to do with myself.

I have a nice job, I'm headed to college this fall...honestly I should be happy with my life. But all I want to do is shut myself up in my room, or go out by myself. I hate being social, and when I am it's like I can hear everyone's thoughts about me inside my head and it's overwhelming. I end up hiding in the bathroom or leaving.

My family doesn't believe in depression. When I ask my mom or try to talk to her, she says I need to exercise more. But I have no motivation. I don't want to call attention to myself and see a doctor, because I'm afraid of what my family might think. I just don't know how to deal with this, so here I am.

I used to be a happy person, but now I sit on the computer watching youtube for hours because, I mean, why even go outside? What is life even for, anyway? All of my old friends have great lives. My family is happy. But here I am, in an island floating further away from everyone. I've just lost all desire to care or try.

Sorry maybe I shouldn't be writing here. I'm sorry

~Mattie~

[eeyorestail]

Don't feel bad about posting here! That's what the forum is for.

I'm sorry you're feeling depressed. It's especially frustrating when family members don't believe in depression--I hide my condition from my in-laws because they are the same way. (They would probably tell me I need to pray more).

I've found everyone here to be very supportive; take advantage of the forums!

And if you can't get professional help before the summer is over, go to your college's counseling center as soon as you can.