[ToeJam]

Had no idea where to put this. I deal with depression, but this is more just a general observation... my own meandering thoughts... wanted to share:

Another person died by their own hand, the paper today tells me so.

The coroner advised that this was the outcome of impulse, a common problem with the young. His father claims he had become a sad statistic in what led to the action and then the action itself.

These stories are frequenting too often in the newspapers and I am starting to dread reading the headline grabbing title that lies on a table near to where I work. It is, so they say, of public interest… but I wonder how truly the public reacts as they read these sad stories. The percentage that feel sadness for the boy/girl, for their family. The percentage that just looks and laugh, viewing that person with disgust. The religious who look disappointed , nod and affirm that that person is in hell… or the percentage that look at the larger picture, that see the trend of these voiceless people who are in despair and are too scared, too confused or are too apathetic to look for help.

Perhaps some will note how little the article actually says, that it sums up that person’s life into that ultimate action… that that was who they were and nothing else; someone who took their own life. It will give a perfunctory explanation of what led to the event, throw blame at some deficit in how society is… but that is pretty much it.

It ignores all of those years of life, the people that that person touched, helped, joked with, shared with… No, who they are, so we are told is just a suicide.

Mental health is still so taboo in a society that is told to accept so much else; sexual preferences, ailments that are tangible, cultural differences… all to be accepted, understood and viewed with compassion. To admit that you have a problem with your mental health though; we expect hostility, fear, confusion… conflicted advice and support.

Despair does not seem that much of a surprise to me.

Another person died by their own hand, the paper today tells me so.

[Momentofclarity]

I barely knew anything about mental health, diseases and care until I was 18 and happened to take a course in basic psychology. Before that...I didn't know what SPD and schizophrenia was and honestly I still feel I don't know enough. (ofc I've heard the terms but a very common misconception is that schizophrenia is the same thing as SPD and paranoia) I think mental diseases scares people. The unknown scares people. That basic course should be obligatory for all students of age 18 if not earlier.

[ToeJam]

Well, went for my walk at lunch... and was thinking more and more about that article... as soon as I got back, I bit the bullet and wrote an email to the editor:

RE “Frustrated job-hunter dead at 20”

This article triggered a lot of sadness in me, a story about a young man who reacted in an ultimate way to despair. I can understand it being in the ‘public interest’ to report on something like this, but I also believe you missed a golden opportunity, an obligation.

Many of us deal with mental illness in some form during our lives and despair in the context of the article is a symptom of depression. We live in a society where many find it so difficult to talk about thoughts that come to us or as the coroner put it ‘impulses’.

No where in the article was there mention given to the support that is there if only it is reached for. Samaritans are an obvious example but also your gp… to let someone know! To not be ashamed, scared of how you’ll be judged… to seem weak. Please… let somebody know! Despair is a horrible burden to carry and it feeds thoughts that are just screaming for attention… and those thoughts as was the case of this poor lad… became intention… and became an action.

Kind regards,

<my name>

I wondered if that was the article you were talking about. When I was waiting at the train station this morning I saw someone holding a copy of the paper with that headline on the front, and then I read your post.

Good on you for emailing them, I hope they take something from it! You make a lot of good points.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by ToeJam

...the article...sums up that person’s life into that ultimate action… that that was who they were and nothing else....

Sad. I wonder what the obituary will say?

May your reply receive the attention it deserves.

[slummerville]

Ive seen about an even number of successful suicides and unsuccessful ones. I find it heartbreaking when we can't save a life. The suicides have all stayed with me. I remember a staff member commenting once, "What's the point of doing this (emergency surgery) he wanted to die anyways." So the comment on the "impulse" is true. Suicide can be planned out for a long time, but the actual act of doing so, the pulling of the trigger, the steps off the building, are impulsive.. in the sense that the millisecond before the person may regret it. That's why my heart sinks when they are successful -- if they are unsuccessful, they go up to the psych ward and hopefully receive the help they need.

I had a shrink tell me that the kind of commentary I hear or the attitudes and judgment people carry with them is a way to distance themselves from the person on the table as a defense mechanism -- that could be me, that could be my son or daughter. Just one way to look at it. It's awful. It really sticks with me and I have had to seek out professional help for my own depression as well as the immediacy of what I've seen at work. I try and intervene with comments to change someone's thinking. Even if it's just through expressing my heartache over what's going on. I don't know. It's just so sad.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( TJ ))))))))

[Momentofclarity]

Originally Posted by ToeJam

Well, went for my walk at lunch... and was thinking more and more about that article... as soon as I got back, I bit the bullet and wrote an email to the editor:

RE “Frustrated job-hunter dead at 20”

This article triggered a lot of sadness in me, a story about a young man who reacted in an ultimate way to despair. I can understand it being in the ‘public interest’ to report on something like this, but I also believe you missed a golden opportunity, an obligation.

Many of us deal with mental illness in some form during our lives and despair in the context of the article is a symptom of depression. We live in a society where many find it so difficult to talk about thoughts that come to us or as the coroner put it ‘impulses’.

No where in the article was there mention given to the support that is there if only it is reached for. Samaritans are an obvious example but also your gp… to let someone know! To not be ashamed, scared of how you’ll be judged… to seem weak. Please… let somebody know! Despair is a horrible burden to carry and it feeds thoughts that are just screaming for attention… and those thoughts as was the case of this poor lad… became intention… and became an action.

Kind regards,

<my name>

good for you.

[DogTired]

You're so right that mental illness needs to be cast in a new light, and people should be made more aware of whatever resources are out there to help save a life. Your post was very touching, and the letter you wrote was wonderful, too. Good for you, and thank you.

[Confusedinomicon]

This was touching and almost made me cry. ;( I have a good friend who is in the middle of a turbulent depression because of this reason and are too afraid of the stigma to ask for help. I wish I could do something more to encourage them to seek help on their terms.

sorry this upset you.....

a couple days ago I was reading the obituaries in my local paper and there was a gal who died in her late 30s. Part of the obit said she was diagnosed with cancer on April 1st. Well six weeks later she is gone and my first thought was "boy is she lucky". I didn't mean that to sound heartless to this lady or those who knew her..... I just wish that those of us who hate life could find a way out that was not "labeled" suicide.