[Sj beam]

I don't know what to do anymore. I had written a few months ago about my Therapist crossing boundaries with me. I was hospitalized for trying to kill myself in January. She actually said we could talk on the phone, she said she wanted to help
Me not be hurtful. Well she lied again. She was hurtful. She was hateful and threw my therapy in my face. I don't know what I was thinking "trusting" her again. I can't get over what she did to me. She actually crossed the line and became my friend and then decided to not be my friend. I don't understand why she would do what she did. I have never shared my life secrets with anyone. I trusted her and told her everything that happened to me through out my life. TRUST is not easy for me. She took my trust and crammed it down my throat. I can not go to another Therapists, I just can't. It took everything in me to go to her and seen her for 3 yrs and then we were friends for a year. Then at her convenience she ended it. She hurt me by crossing the line, have no Therapist and no friend. I'm lost!! Hurt!!! I just don't know anymore...about anything.

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[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Oh man, that's rough. This is one of many reasons why I'm wary of, ...well, just about anyone, and also how I am with a professional; at the end of the day, they're doing their job. I think you shouldn't give up on therapists, ... there are some amazing ones out there.

My therapist was wonderful; she was incredibly intelligent, understanding, and had a hint of honesty that helped, but she never crossed any boundary. In-fact, I felt super uncomfortable meeting her in a local coffee shop (was an assessment of my anxiety or something) but it was fine.

Sorry, I went off a bit, but what I'm getting at, is not all professionals are unprofessional. Look for someone renowned, licensed, someone with all the proper checks.

I understand about trust; that's an issue of mine as well, as is opening up (to a point, on both accounts) but... I dunno, I guess in life you have to make the occasional leap of faith.
I think it's good that you're here on PC ( by the way) as it gives you a way to release some of the burden.
Honestly? I personally think that one shouldn't ever look for (or accept) a friend in a therapist; it's a very risky game, for your feelings and mental-health, as well as their ability to do their job.

As far as I know, it's common for attachments to occur during therapy, and that can be to the advantage of the therapist, and of course the support/treatment of the individual getting therapy, but of course it can also go the other way. It might be possible that your therapist was just clumsy; she may have meant well but ultimately made a mistake, one for which I'm betting she's feeling very guilty.

Stay safe and keep us updated, if you feel you can.

EDIT: Sorry, one last thing: I just wanted to say that I think it's brave of you to come here and share all that.

[Rohag]

Sj beam, I'm sorry this happened to you. Do you feel what she did merits making an ethics complaint to her licensing board?

[shabur]

You, unfortunately, have a very bad therapist who doesn't know her boundaries. I have issues with trust as well. Trust has to be earned, not just by friends but by our therapists as well.

Don't give up on therapists. There are very good ones out there. Ask your GP for some suggestions or go on Yelp or Angie's List. Write down everything you need (not want) in a therapeutic relationship. Call each of the suggested therapists and ask them questions to determine if they meet your needs.

As I have worked with my pdoc and tdoc they earned my trust and I have been able to open up to them. We innately understand our boundaries so we know what is acceptable and what isn't.