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  #1  
Old May 30, 2014, 08:58 AM
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Crook32 Crook32 is offline
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My wife told me this morning that she is feeling unloved. I have been silent and withdrawn lately.

I have been more depressed in the past but this is the first time she has ever said that to me. I have been fighting with my own demons lately.

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depressedalaskan, gayleggg, smmath

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  #2  
Old May 30, 2014, 09:14 AM
TheCognitiveCouch TheCognitiveCouch is offline
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Have you talked to her openly about the way that you have been feeling? It my help her to better understand since woman like to talk about things and if you talk to her in an assertive way and from your perspective (try saying things like "from my point of view..." or "I feel..." so as to her not feel attacked by you and for you to let her know that you are experiencing such feelings and emotions of your own).
How about also tackling some couple therapy? That's a way for both to talk while having a mediator and reconstructing the relationship you have while are the same time each working at your individual obstacles.
You could try first finding support by yourself and then if needed suggesting her about couple therapy but if you truly value your relationship try to be more open to her; remember woman like to talk and to listen and if she's your wife and supports you for sure she'll be there to support you.
Best wishes for you and your family...
  #3  
Old May 30, 2014, 09:26 AM
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gayleggg gayleggg is offline
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It is hard for spouses to understand when we get withdrawn. I had to explain to my husband about depression and how sometimes I was just locked in my on head. Making sure to reassure him it wasn't something he had done.

I had to do the same with my daughter when she was little and depression first hit me. She was always worried that somehow she had caused me to cry and be sad. I had to explain to her that there were days when nobody caused it, it was just a bad day. She learned to ask when I was sad "is it one of the bad days" when I said yes she was okay and went to play in her room. We have to really educate our families so the don't think it's there fault.

I hope things get better, just be reassuring when you can.
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  #4  
Old May 30, 2014, 09:27 AM
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Piraeus Piraeus is offline
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Hi there Crook32. It's nice to meet you. I'm sorry you are sad. Is there something specific you are sad about? I would suggest seeing your pdoc, if you have one. It could be as simple as increasing your meds.

I know what it's like to be severely depressed. I was thinking about this song when I read your post.



Be good to yourself, and things will start to get better.

Sincerely

Piraeus
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Life's too short to make trouble out of small things.Kurt Nilsen.

Destiny, destiny protect me from the world. Radiohead

Swimming in a sea of faces, The tide of the human race oh
the answer now is what I need. See it in the new sunrising and see it break on your horizon, ohhh come on love stay with me. Cold play
  #5  
Old May 30, 2014, 10:41 AM
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Crook32 Crook32 is offline
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I see my therapist once a week. My doctor has been adjusting my meds for almost a year and a half now. They seem to work for a little while then it is not enough.

She has come to a therapy session with me before and is the most supportive person in the world. It just really caught me off guard this morning when she said that.

We have been together for almost 14 years and have two boys that are 5 and 3 so they can be a handful at times.

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  #6  
Old May 31, 2014, 01:19 AM
person422 person422 is offline
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How do you know she truly meant it? She might have been having a bad day. I wouldn't sweat it. But, you probably know more than me.

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  #7  
Old May 31, 2014, 08:01 PM
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smmath smmath is offline
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Do you think that she would be willing to come to another session with you?

Hugs.
  #8  
Old May 31, 2014, 08:38 PM
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depressedalaskan depressedalaskan is offline
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Sometimes my depression takes over so badly that I lose track of time. This can be days or months. I look at the calendar one day and seven days later I am wondering how I got from the 1st to the 7th. If depression does this to you. You may have forgotten to tell her.
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