[Jane102]

So I'm trying to debate with myself whether or not I need to go into hospital.
I've had a six month long stay in one already, honestly it wasn't very good but it was kinda good. I had an abrupt discharge because I turned 18 so I kinda feel like I never got to finish my treatment there.
But that aside, now I'm really not doing well. I really struggle to get out of bed, I spend hours just to get out, when I finally do I usually go back to it in a couple of hours so I pretty much spend my day there. I've done nothing productive in so long.
The outpatient services here are a joke, I'm getting no therapy or help at all, I see a doctor once a month. All he does is give me a new prescription for my meds and sends me off again. I'm really struggling with this, I feel like I need the help.
I also need a break from my everyday life, I'm only 18 and I still live with my parents. I really don't get along with them. And it dosnt help that I'm struggling so much, we fight so much over me not doing like(like getting out of bed). They just don't seem to get it that I have no motivation for these type of things and I really can't handle it much more.
All of these things together are making me feel kinda suicidal. There's times when I have no problem with the thoughts and I'm safe but there's time when I lose control of them.
The reasons I'm not sure if I should go into one is, it's like a two hour drive to it. My parents hated it when I was in hospital last time and it was only an hours drive.
I promised my self I wouldn't go into hospital again, when I left my last one, I was actually in a good place and I made a pact never to go into one again and I really don't want to break it.
I'm not suicidal 100% of the time, this one is worrying me. See I'll have to say it to my doctor and my mum first and I don't want to tell my mum especially that I feel like I need to go into hospital and then when I'm assessed I'm told that I'm not like ill enough to stay in hospital(I'm really bad at expressing how I feel and have been misunderstood many times as to how bad I actually am)

Sorry that this is a super long post but thanks for reading.

[waterknob1234]

It sounds like you do need some type of psychiatric help. If you feel actively suicidal you should tell someone you trust and go to the hospital. I wish I knew something good to tell you but I am here for you and you can pm me anytime you wish. Best of wishes to you.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Jane102

There's times when I have no problem with the thoughts and I'm safe but there's time when I lose control of them.

How often do you lose control of the thoughts and what happens during those times?

Yes, conveying one's distress effectively can be a big problem. Go ahead and use this forum to work out what you need to say - or write - to grab the attention of your caretakers. If the situation has become intolerable, tell them that and tell them all the reasons (parental pressure included).

[shabur]

If you're not already in therapy, I would suggest that as your first step. Your T can evaluate whether you need to be hospitalized.

Regardless of whether you need to be hospitalized, you can ask your parents to attend a session with you where your T can explain what is happening to you. I had a similar experiencing with my family - they were always questioning "Why?". Once my T was able to explain what I wasn't able to they got it and they learned how they could help me.

[TorturedSoul92]

If thoughts of suicide continue to persist, it may be in your best interest to be hospitalized. If not, you can try getting a therapist. That helped me with opening up more & talking about my feelings immensely. This is an experience, not permanent. You'll get thru this & we'll be here for you if you should need any support.

[Jane102]

I kinda have a therapist. I go to a psychiatrist once a month. I asked him if I could get some form of therepy(cause they usually provide a therapist for you) but he said no cause I'm only 18 and he dosnt want me to be going in and out of an adults centre but I tried to tell him that I'd be fine with it and I need the help but he really didn't care. The services here are ridiculously underdeveloped and are extremely bad.

[catastrophic]

That sounds extremely tough... Hugs xox

Could you let your mum how yr feeling and ask her to help you find a therapist?

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