Make it go away

I'm hurting really badly. I thought I was getting better, then crash. I tried to believe the crash was hormonal and would get better in a few days, no I'm past that window now and I'm still sliding down. I'm a bit anxious about seeing the doctor later on today but deep down I don't think that's the problem either.

A couple of days ago, I was alone when a skinny, pinch faced, pale looking girl came into the room. She leant really close to my face and whispered "Wake up, you won't get better." and then she laughed and left the room. She had really bad breath that lingered after she left. I don't know who she was, where she came from or where she went too. I'm relieved that she hasn't been back though. In retrospect, I know it was my mind playing tricks but at the time I believed she was there. In all my years of depression, I've never had to deal with this kind of manifestation before and I just want it all to go away.

I've forced myself to keep busy, I've done as much as I can to stop myself sinking, I don't want to give up when I was so close to an improvement but it feels so hopeless. I'm so sorry that I couldn't keep it up.

Good, but has the pace or the duration of the activity been too much? Do you need to rest? Do you need a certain kind of rest? (No need to answer; these are thought questions. Every once in a while I run into a wall or implode. I need to avoid imploding. )