I smell of depression.

I know weird subject but whatever. So I recently found out I'm bisexual and I'm afraid of what people are gonna say. I mean one person knows and she is my best friend and I was afraid it was gonna change our friendship so I was really depressed when I told her so. I feel like if i tell anyone else they will become disgusted and will hate me forever so just thinking about this makes me depressed. I just wish society didn't judge. I wish people knew what it meant to be bullied. Someone please save me before its to late

(To be honest I don't think I should post this in the depression forum but to late.)

Some may be disgusted. I guess that is their right. Just as it is your choice to live how you choose..... and deal with the consequences of your choices.

My wife has a phrase that she says often that I find works on many issues - "love the sinner not the sin". I think it is a good motto.

Gods blessings to you.

Even a best friend may not have a real "need to know" something personal about you, but I would hope that a best friend would receive gently anything you wanted to share.

I would work on your attitude toward yourself and your sexuality. Why would your sexual preferences make another person "hate" you? Especially someone who knows/cares about you? Worrying about all those faceless people "out there" that we can't/don't know instead of concentrating on those we do know and interact with can only be depressing! I take it your best friend did not freak/"hate" you? Why would others if you chose to tell them? Why would you choose to tell them?

Half the people I talk to pretend to like me. I can see it and my BFF tells me. So if I still talk to them and it gets out they might hate me because most of them are homophobes (that's what their called right?)

Hey Sophia....yes, that is one of the downsides of a so-called 'free society' ... a person can be a homophobe, completely bigoted, a full-fledged jerk. That is their right.

They do NOT have a right to discriminate or bully anyone based on their opinions. I also, don't hold with the 'you have to live with your choices' comment, only because I don't believe sexuality is a choice...otherwise as a most people prefer to conform, as apposed to struggle, most would not choose a sexual disposition that would lay them open to ridicule from bigots....but that's just my thought on it.

I agree, telling friends who truly care for you, should not be an issue, but I also understand perhaps not everyone needs to know within your circle of friends. It's totally up to you, of course, based on how close you are to them. And your comment about most of the people you talk to 'pretend' to like you, doesn't sound like much of a friend. And if they are not friends, then their opinions mean squat, in the scheme of things.

At any rate, we're here for you.

Hey Sophia,
Unfortunately we live in a society where we have to build an immunity to other people's opinions....simply because internalizing them is way too painful. I think this is MUCH harder when your depressed but there's definitely hope & just like anything else, being yourself and loving yourself takes tremendous effort and practice. You'll get through this.

As it seems like you lived many years without knowing that part of your self, I don't see why other people have to know. You don't need to keep it a secret, but you don't need to tell.

For the ones who find that unnormal, you might want to know, that that isn't limited concepts like straight, homo, bi... sexuality it's not a black and white thing (it's more like a shape of colours). So the ones who might judge you may not be in the position to do that. (not the best advice, but that's a fact)

Does it matter what your sexual preferences are? If anyone wants to judge you, that's their problem. I guess then only thing that would make me wonder was if my bi friend was attracted to me, or friends with me as a friend, and not just out of attraction, you know what I mean?

Most people I know believe sexual identity/gender issues are not "life style choices." People in my synagogue and social circle believe one is born that way and it is not a "choice." I mean really, who would "choose" such a difficult (depending on your circle of support) "lifestyle" risking being treated unjustly by intolerant member's of our society. I'm so glad my teen age boy's are completely befuddled at our society's intolerance to the GLGBQ (sorry if I'm missing a letter folks) community. I'm heterosexual, BTW, not that it matters. I have hope for our future. Keep posting hey it's Sophie, you've got friends here.
This may get moderated off, I had to speak my peace for those whose voices are silenced.

God bless.

Hello Sophia: I've been reading through your posts, including this one, of course. By the way, we have a Transgender Forum. That would be a good place to post future Threads related to gender identity or sexual orientation.

I'll just mention that I'm an older male who has been transgendered (MtF- transsexual) all of my life. I won't go into detail about this. I have quite a few posts in the Transgender Forum you can read if you want to know more about me.

I take it, from reading your posts, that you are struggling with depression & anxiety & that you are cutting. You're not receiving any therapy, & you're not on any medications because your family is struggling (financially I presume.)

First, I wanted to ask a rhetorical question (one you don't need to answer.) You write, in your post, you just "found out" you're bisexual. The question that comes into my mind when I read that is: how did you find out? I guess, for me, since I've been struggling with being trans my entire life, it is difficult for me to form an image in my mind of how that would happen. Here again, I'm not asking you to answer this question on PC. But I think it may be instructive for you to think about it yourself. Do you simply find yourself physically attracted to women as well as men? Did you have an unexpected liaison with another person of your sex? Is your sexual orientation something you've been thinking about; & you've concluded that you're bi-sexual?

You know, however it was you came to this conclusion, the word "bisexual" is just a label. It's an artificial construct that people have come up with to identify a certain variety of sexual orientation. In other words, it's a pigeonhole. And, like all pigeonholes, it creates as much mischief as it does clarification.

Gender Identity & sexual orientation are both fluid. There is a magnificent rainbow of different resting points within that rainbow. And, by the way, however it was that you concluded you're bisexual, doesn't necessarily make it so. Many, many young people (& even older people) experiment with different kinds of sexual relations. The fact that you might have had one experience that suggests you may be bisexual, or may have one at some point, doesn't mean that you need to be stamped with an indelible label. You're a young person who is just beginning to explore the world of human sexuality. It can be a difficult time under the best of circumstances. So treat yourself gently.

Of course, as you clearly already understand, not everyone you'll meet will be open to the idea of your identifying yourself as bisexual. There are, unfortunately, many bigots out there & one does have to be careful. On the other hand, not speaking your truth can be just as damaging or more so. So one just has to pick one's "fights", so to speak. It was wonderful you were able to share with your friend & that your friend was accepting. And, you're correct, some people may not accept your coming out as bisexual; & you may lose them as friends. But you will also gain other friends & these will be your REAL friends. There's no hurry about any of this.

If, as you go along, you continue to feel comfortable identifying as bisexual, just share this a bit at a time with other people you trust... no hurry... Perhaps also do some reading regarding bisexuality, talk with other PC'ers here who identify as bisexual, perhaps watch some videos on YouTube related to the concept of bisexuality (although do be careful here; not all of the vid's on YouTube are going to have a positive perspective.) It is possible, over time, you may conclude you're not comfortable with this label. You may find another label you prefer... or perhaps you'll prefer no label at all. (Labels can be useful in some ways, but no one is required to have one.) As I said, there are many resting points along the sexual orientation rainbow.

I did also just want to touch briefly on your depression, anxiety & cutting. I would really encourage you to try to find some therapy services. I don't know where you live, of course, but I would check to see if there aren't some free youth services available, or at least services that are provided on a sliding-fee scale, based on the family's income. You're clearly struggling with a number of difficult problems & it's SO HARD to deal with these alone. I know. I did it for years & years.

Certainly continue to post here on PC. Writing can help. I would also like to suggest you check out Kati Morton's website. Your Mental Health social network Kati is a young California therapist. She has a special interest in self-harm issues. She's energetic, enthusiastic & anxious to help. Of course, she's not a substitute for a real-life therapist. But, in the absence of one, she can be of great comfort. BTW, she's also on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter & other social networks.

Anyway, I hope that something I've written here will be of some small value to you. I wish you the very best. And keep in mind that now well-known saying: "It gets better."

Sophia, I'm a bisexual woman. I found out that I was bi when I was 13; I am now 22. I went through a difficult period of self-hatred, but I have come to accept myself. I am also out to most everyone in my life.

I have to share some encouraging news with you. In just the past 2-3 years, there has been a major, sweeping change in attitude towards LGBTQ people. People, governments, and corporations are becoming more accepting.

Since discovering I was bi, I have witnessed countless states, including my home state, legalize gay marriage. I've seen major companies include gay couples and families in their advertising. I've seen "Mr. & Mr." and "Mrs. & Mrs." wedding cards in stores. I've seen church congregations choose to love their LGBTQ neighbors instead of hating them.

We've a long way to go, but we've made a lot of progress. There are a lot of reasons to hope. Stay strong.

Sophia, bisexuality as with any other sexuality is just about who you love and if a person is a true friend then as far as I'm concerned the only judgement they should make is one of approval and support when you find yourself in a happy, safe , loving relationship not a judgement on who that relationship is with x x
Sadly some people in society don't see this yet but there are plenty who do so I'd really recommend you seek them out and make some good supportive friendships and I hope things get easier for you *hugs*

I know how you feel. I came out as gay many years ago, and it was tough. But times are getting better, and I hope you come through it well. Hang in there, and let us know how things go for you.