[GenCat]

Just wondering, why we don't see hope when we are depressed? Why we don't see anything but the depression?

[glok]

Hello, GenCat.

If You Can't Escape Depression, Try Making Do
Starting on a Path toward Acceptance- Storied Mind
Can the Mind Heal Depression? - Storied Mind

For me, I first had to get over being depressed about having to deal with depression. I was very resentful about people telling me to just get over it. Now, I understand learning coping skills is a way to get over the hurdles depression presents.

Despite being told I have a treatment resistant illness, and may have to accept I will not get better, I did find ways to function at a higher level.

Please do not give up on yourself. Your first step would seem to be to change your focus to what you might do to make a better life for yourself despite the depression.

I wish you well.

[Little Jay]

For me its just easier to give into it, its just a powerful and all-consuming thing. I think for me, I don't see hope because it seems even when I am trying and others are trying to cheer me up, it's still there. I end up giving up all hope that will ever go away.
I hope you are feeling okay, remember I'm just a PM away if you need me darling

[Altered Moment]

I have been at the point of absolute hopelessness a number of times. One half ***** suicide attempt. I to have very treatment resistant depression and as Glok says a big part of it is acceptance that I have this disease.

The thing is I don't think we lose all hope. We just cannot feel it or sense it. The depression blocks it from our awareness. Somewhere deep inside is the spark of humanity that we all have and hope. It is very very difficult to extinguish that spark and it is in there.

Even at my lowest suicidal bottoms I have always managed to keep trying at some point even when I saw no point in it. Something got me to the pdoc one more time or a T. It had to be some spark of hope.

Depression is very cruel and blocks many things from our awareness and lies to us all the time. But in reality the the good things in life are still out there just not available to us at that time. We just have to keep trying even in the face of no hope and somehow we do.

Those who do follow through and commit suicide are deeply psychotically depressed. I don't really know if that spark was still alive in them our not.

[regretful]

All I see right now is the hopelessness. I know that it is depression. That spark that zinco talks about is a very dim spark right now for me. People keep telling me that this won't last forever, but I'm not so sure. I think I might have to revisit medication...

[fluffbuster]

“I am as silent as death. Do this: Go to your bedroom. Your nice, safe, warm bedroom that is not a glass coffin behind a morgue door. Lie down on your bed not made of ice. Stick your fingers in your ears. Do you hear that? The pulse of life from your heart, the slow in-and-out from your lungs? Even when you are silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life. Mine is not. It is the silence that drives me mad. The silence that drives the nightmares to me. Because what if I am dead? How can someone without a beating heart, without breathing lungs live like I do? I must be dead. And this is my greatest fear: After 301 years, when they pull my glass coffin from this morgue, and they let my body thaw like chicken meat on the kitchen counter, I will be just like I am now. I will spend all of eternity trapped in my dead body. There is nothing beyond this. I will be locked within myself forever. And I want to scream. I want to throw open my eyes wake up and not be alone with myself anymore, but I can't. I can't.”
― Beth Revis, Across the Universe
ah - she did something w/ her hopelessness, did she not? let's hope all find solace somehow so meager.