[overground55]

Hey all, I am a 24 year old guy working at a hospital in the kitchen doing simple work running trays around to patients, and making food. It comes with good benefits and the pay is okay (11.00) for a job that requires no experience except a knowledge of food service. I hate my job, but don't know whether I have the wrong attitude about the situation or not. I work with several women in the department, many of them are sassy and rude. I grew up somewhat sheltered I suppose, didn't have very many friends, and I consider myself sensitive and shy, and I just want to do my job quietly without having to deal with all the drama that seems to come with this line of work, I guess you'd say I'd like personal space.
There is one woman in particular who is my same age. She has a personality with everyone that is very negative. She tends to spout off "I hate this," "thats garbage" "your dumb" etc... as her sort of humor. Most of the women in the cafeteria find it funny, but I don't. She will attack me with her words telling me I am lazy, and that shes suprised when she sees me working, that I am a bad 24 year old, that she can't believe I haven't quit/been fired yet, that I take 2 hour long breaks (when I only take 30). Its all petty stuff to complain about, I know, but these are the only kinds of words that come out of her mouth towards me. She never shows an interest in conversation with me, or telling me whats going on in her life. If she is going to say something to me, it always has a negative spin against me. I would be interested in hearing from you folks whether this is a normal thing with some people, and how I should take it?
So far I've been trying to ignore it for the most part, laugh it off as well without rebuttal. I'm afraid I'm going to blow up and say something really mean to her. She is very overweight, and she grew up without a father, which is really sad, and I want to feel empathetic towards her, yet when I get angry suddenly these things seem like weapons that I can use (although I haven't) instead of ways I can pray for her and hope that she can continue to grow as a person despite these difficulties.
This is actually not my first job, I have had several food service positions in the past. The last one I got fired for because I started getting lazy and frustrated for very similar reasons that I am here. I am afraid that if I don't do something about this, I am going to get fired at the hospital too. Any thoughts would be incredibly helpful. Thank you all

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Overground55. Yes, regrettably the behavior you describe is "normal" for some people. It reflects well on you that you are trying to restrain yourself and are thinking kindly about your tormentor.

Originally Posted by overground55

I just want to do my job quietly without having to deal with all the drama that seems to come with this line of work

Get out of food service and develop technical or professional skills. What you are doing may be fine for the present - provided you can tolerate it, but prolonged work in that type of environment will probably greatly increase your chances for developing depression.

I'm sure others here will have various takes on your situation. Make yourself at home!

[Fuzzybear]

[waterknob1234]

I agree with Rohag. I career change may be in order. A good idea is to explore vocational, career, or college training. Don't get stuck forever into a job where you are not happy. Unfortunately every job has its "drama queens" as I like to call them. They range from comical to annoying to downright hostile. Sometimes its best to just ignore them. If they continue to bully and it becomes too much to handle they need to be confronted calmly and firmly about their behavior. Best of wishes with your situation.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Sounds like that woman really hates herself.

[unaluna]

[QUOTE=overground55;3867536]

don't know whether I have the wrong attitude about the situation or not.

lets just say you can choose to have a different attitude. The answers are here in your post.

I grew up somewhat sheltered I suppose, didn't have very many friends, and I consider myself sensitive and shy, and I just want to do my job quietly without having to deal with all the drama that seems to come with this line of work, I guess you'd say I'd like personal space.

That ship has sailed! Welcome to the real world!

There is one woman in particular who is my same age... She never shows an interest in conversation with me, or telling me whats going on in her life. If she is going to say something to me, it always has a negative spin against me. I would be interested in hearing from you folks whether this is a normal thing with some people, and how I should take it?

sounds flirty to me. Why dont you show an interest in her, or tell her something about your life? I hope YOU can grow as a person in spite of your difficulties, instead of judging her, her weight, her parentage (which she had no control over, btw).[ /QUOTE]

[fluffbuster]

if you're working w/ other people there will always be 'drama' - some people are just more demonstrative than others. i agree w/ other comments - change of job - figure out if you like the making of food, serving the food or the management of it all - then either become a chef, a server (maitre'd) or business administration (or whatever your interest may be). maybe your place of business might even offer to pay for some classes if it helps w/ your job.
sounds like the lady actually is flirting a bit - but she's defensive, maybe cause of her weight - so she attacks first. you can try asking right out why are you so negative to me - she might not even realize she's being mean if that's how she's w/ everyone. good luck in all ventures!!!

[Altered Moment]

It is good that you are a kind an empathetic person and don't want to attack her out of anger. However you do not have to tolerate unacceptable behavior, you can tell her how you feel without attacking. I know how difficult this is but people need to stand up to bullies and call them on their BS. She may back off if you are privately very assertive.

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[overground55]

Its definitely not her flirting with me. I am certain that she does not like me. But I dunno, I am tired of looking for new work. I've been in many jobs in the past and I just want to fix this here if I can, although I don't really know how at this point.

[fluffbuster]

you say she doesn't talk w/ you - yet you know she grew up fatherless - how do you know this? does she have a friend that talks w/ you? then maybe talk w/ the friend and ask them to ask her to back off.
if you seriously suspect that what she says has impact on your employment go to your HR department and tell them what negative things she has said about you. if you have to clock in and have a regular timesheet - if she says you take 2hr lunches yet your timesheet says otherwise - well, there is your proof. - - - DON'T let a bully get you down. if you're a good worker and you care about your future - TALK w/ your supervisor - i mean, that is why they are supervisors. Ask for mediation, if you're in a union. Try to be nice, but don't let a bully ruin your chances for future employment. sometimes it's difficult to stand up for yourself - but sometimes, that's just what you have to do. it's better that a sup talks w/ her about this than you, cause you might say something not good. so - talk w/ your sup or HR and hopefully everything will work out well.

[overground55]

Originally Posted by fluffbuster

you say she doesn't talk w/ you - yet you know she grew up fatherless - how do you know this? does she have a friend that talks w/ you? then maybe talk w/ the friend and ask them to ask her to back off.
if you seriously suspect that what she says has impact on your employment go to your HR department and tell them what negative things she has said about you. if you have to clock in and have a regular timesheet - if she says you take 2hr lunches yet your timesheet says otherwise - well, there is your proof. - - - DON'T let a bully get you down. if you're a good worker and you care about your future - TALK w/ your supervisor - i mean, that is why they are supervisors. Ask for mediation, if you're in a union. Try to be nice, but don't let a bully ruin your chances for future employment. sometimes it's difficult to stand up for yourself - but sometimes, that's just what you have to do. it's better that a sup talks w/ her about this than you, cause you might say something not good. so - talk w/ your sup or HR and hopefully everything will work out well.

Eh, its mostly just kidding I suppose. She and I and everyone else know I don't take 2 hour breaks. She just likes to talk ****, haha, and its annoying more than its really any sort of threat. She has told me in the past, and I kind of work close contact with her, so in the past she was kind of like an open book, she just has that personality type: always needing to talk about something in order to pass the time I guess. I like to get lost inside my head, to think about a lovely melody, or whatever, and so the two of us are on opposite ends of the spectrum, haha.

[barmum]

I'd just like to clarify a few things ..
You raised a concern about getting fired ? Is this woman in a senior position to you ? If she's not then I can't honestly see a lot that would get you fired unless you do seriously blow up at her one day.
Have you got a supervisor ? If you have, what you are describing is work place bullying and you are well within your rights to have a word with your supervisor, explain the situation and if you're concerned about what she's saying being taken seriously you can always say look, I don't want to take any action about this but I wanted to query whether there are any concerns about the standard of my work etc. I'd also suggest asking them if there is any training/work place progression things available that you could take part in to boost your confidence in how you are doing at your job and your job security. (If it's a hospital would they consider training you up for care jobs ?)
Also are there any positive people that you get on with in your job ? Maybe try and work a bit more with them/take breaks with them so you don't have to be focused on this woman so much ??
I really hope the situation improves because I know I've left a job before due to bullying and the only way I got through it was by trying to make it as positive a step as I could so I felt like I was leaving because I chose to , not because they made me and I was going on to something much better.