[shabur]

For many years my sister and I shared an apartment. We are very close; we are Irish twins. Our family has always referred to us as a single entity "the girls." I can't say I like(d) it, but it did reinforce our relationship.

Six years ago she told me she was going to be moving in with her partner. I was in a deep depressive episode at that time and felt like I was being abandoned...again. She was very considerate and re-assuring that we would see each other often.

So I move into my own place, which turned out to be just a few blocks from her place, and learned how to live alone and I do see her often. She has been such a great support for me when I am struggling, when I was hospitalized, when I had surgery, ...

She and her partner started their family and have a son, who I absolutely adore. Because they live only a few blocks away I see her family often and spend a lot of time with my nephew. Now they are expecting a daughter, which I am very excited about, and they are moving to a bigger place about an hour away.

While I have continued to fight my mental health battle, and have greatly appreciated and needed her help, I want everything she wants for herself and her family. I want her to be happy.

My depression is under better control so I am not in the same place I was 6 years ago, but not having her close by makes me uncomfortable and sad. Again, she is being re-assuring that we will see each other often and I will remain a part of their family. Since my last hospitalization I haven't been able to drive so that makes seeing them limited.

Talking to my pdoc about this, she asks if I think I am ready to begin working again, that being more active may help me feel better. The thought of going back to a real job scares the beejeezes out of me, but I am open to considering it. Then my pdoc asks what I would like my next career to be. Due to travel requirements I can't return to my prior one. I have no freakin' idea. I loved my prior career. I was good at it and rose through the ranks quickly. It's just I can't deal with the travel anymore.

I can't think of a single thing I want to do that would challenge me, but not overwhelm me. I fear I will fail at whatever it is. Have any of you faced returning to meaningful work?

[glok]

Hello, shabur. For several years, the county subsidized some job training for me. Some aptitude testing also was done. Nothing came of it despite my willingness to take a job that was not a challenge. The part-time jobs available were not high on my aptitude scale.

It may be worth looking into?

I wish you well.