[flours]

weird day. had to go on a trip to another city. was leaving home too slowly and ended up running to the train. run in a way I couldn't breath for 10 minutes when I was already sitting on my seat and my whole body hurt for more than half an hour.

was stressed from then!

the woman next seat was coughing so bad during the entire ride that I thought she is going to die before we arrive. the man behind her joined her coughing after a while. it was bizarre.
there were any kind of nervous people running around the train and passing by my seat every 10 seconds and each time grabbing the seat and make it shake which I found extremely annoying.

as I'm not sleeping very much at the moment I got extremely irritable.

when I arrived I had to spend some time waiting in the station hall and it seemed so loud and overwhelming. there were so many people who pushed me and came so close they touched me while walking even though there was enough space to walk around me. it makes me mad!
sometimes get violent feelings if people come so close for no reason. just wanted to run or scream or both. or fight them!

decided to get rid of my heavy bag and put it in a locker so I was more comfortable. spend some time in the bathroom too, to be alone. then decided to buy fancy expensive coffee and sit down in a calm corner at a cafe. was nice.
checked emails. calmed down.

then I had to leave and walk for a bit. it was extremely sunny and I hate that. was annoyed and just wanted to be home and sleep.

I had to go meet some people for business. when I arrived there I felt really bad. but the minute I saw the people I was meeting who I had never met before I was comfortable. they were nice and the place looked very familiar. It was just like coming home. everything went really smoothly and it was kind of like entering a different universe. suddenly everything fell into place and I was fine. and I thought this is exactly the place I am supposed to be right now. and want to be right now. had no doubt about that. just suddenly happened. don't remember when I felt like that last time. maybe years ago.

now I'm back home and exhausted and back to previous mood. but I remember this afternoon and get a feeling of relieve and astonishment.

thought I should write this down.

[atomicc]

That's great to hear that you had a really cathartic moment. Hopefully more of them will come!