Hopes down

I was crying a little bit earlier.

I can't do belly dancing!

My dad had his schedule changed and now has Mondays and Sundays off instead of Tuesdays and Mondays now.

We even scheduled it for the 19th when he couldn't do it for the first two Tuesdays of August!!!

There are no other classes on those other two days.

I was looking forward to do something I dreamed of doing.

I'm just sick and tired of telling people that I'm going to do something, and then not being able to do it.

Something is always preventing me from doing what I want to do. School grades (even if I had a C), money issues, disproval, change of interests, etc.

Once I get to do something it's always either "No", "Sorry", "We can't do this any more.". "We can't afford it."

It would have been if I had a drivers license by now. I know that's my fault that I can't transport myself anywhere as of now (I haven't even got a driver's permit because I was so busy throughout the summer).

Dad even thought of me maybe checking the bus schedule, but when I think of it: how ****ing far of a walk will it be from the bus stop in Ogden, Utah?

I told my mom just now and she's telling me she'll help me find classes somewhere else that's close.

I feel like she's doing too much work for me. I don't have anything in return to offer her.

She said this over text:

I am really thankful of my mom doing this for me, and I feel so bad for all of the other times I mistreated her. Now that I think about it, I would definitely understand how sad she would be if I were to leave and pass on from ever living anymore. (sorry for going off topic). Just a lot to think about. I know it's not the end of the world.

I'm sorry you can't do bellydancing at the place you wanted, it sounds like a really fun hobby!
It's good that your mom is trying to help you achieve your goals. It sounds like your dad is too, he just couldn't help a schedule change.
I hope you will get to do what you want!

Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder.

I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016