[stefano78]

Hi I am 39 and have been struglling with affective and personality disorder as long as I remeber
I do not feel comfortable posting on french forum in my own language due to an extremely emotive background
Thinking I had reached remission 3 years ago when my drugs worked like never I decided to withdraw my AD
It was a huge mistake I am worse than ever, 3 years on waking up 5, 6 ,7 times a night in my sleep
I am hopeless
I am bitter and very pessimistic
I know I am not supposed to post any suicidal thoughts
I won't have too
My excess will take me before
I was sober from alcohol for 4 years
I started to drink again at bed time hoping It will help me to spleep
result: I am an alcoholic again
I only feel "sane" with my dose of spirit
Without booze it is hurting
my condition makes me suffer like hell
It is a dull aching pain in your soul
My Psychiatrist suggested EMDR
the thing is now it is summertime and I never felt so low
My life is a complete failure
I have tried all possible medication available in my country
nothing works
I am resistant to conventional treatment and because I do not want to become impaired I am opposed to ECT
Why am I posting ?
Probably because I feel like ***** and despaired and hoping may be(?) someone has already suceeded in such a situation

[bluekoi]

stefano78, Hello and welcome to PsychCentral.

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