[Altered Moment]

So last March I started Lamictal and a month later switched to Fetzima. It has been the most effective thing I have ever taken. I was hypo manic for two months but that went away. What was very odd is that every three or four weeks I would get these three or four day pretty severe mini depressions but they would totally lift.

Now I have been slipping the last three weeks. Last week getting really bad. I met with my pdoc last week and we discussed increasing the Fetzima. He left it up to me. On friday I called and said I wanted to go to 60mg. I have been on 40mg. The pharmacy won't have the 20's until Monday so I decided on my own to take 80 for a few days until I can get the 20's. Within 24 hours of taking 80 I noticed a difference. Like yesterday I jumped in the shower and shaved after not having showered for a number of days and I got out of the house and ran a couple of errands. Sometimes I have to just look at changes in my behavior to tell if things are getting better because I have not noticed a big improvement in my mood.

So either the Fetzima is pooping at that dose which always happens to me but usually not this soon. Or one of my cyclical depressions is hitting and then it doesn't matter it just over powers everything.

My intuition tells me it is the Fetzima pooping at that dose and it makes sense because increasing is helping.

I have two big jobs scheduled in the next month and I set them up because I have been doing so good. I am very afraid that if I am deeply depressed I won't be able to do them but I have to. It will be very hard if I am badly depressed and have to force myself. It will be grueling. It is the main reason I am increasing the dose.

What sucks is that what is likely to happen is that 60mg will poop at some point, and then 80 will poop and then 120 will poop. That is assuming the increases work. Then I am left with few med options again. Maybe I can get Ketamine.

Starting therapy again too at some point if they would ever call. Called three times to be a squeaky wheel as the referral was the beginning of July. This office didn't get it from that office even though that office says they did. Same ole crap.

[CANDC]

zinco another option is to take a 40 and cut it in half and then a 40+20= 60
Of course you can get 20's tomorrow.
Don't be discourage about medicines having ends, there will be others that can help you.
It is great you are able to work 2 big jobs coming up. That is encouraging.
I have to get a boost from diet and exercise. That is an extra boost that keeps me more positive every day. I like yoga or qi gong (see youtube.com) For diet I avoid carbohydrates as much as possible especially sugar.
Hope you find the bridge to do those jobs.

[waterknob1234]

Zinco I hope the medication adjustment helps you. I also hope you can get the therapy started. Hope all goes well for you for your jobs.

[Altered Moment]

The 40's are capsules so can't really split. I will get the 20's tomorrow.

What is frustrating is that up until three weeks ago I was living an active healthy life. Doing things one might expect would prevent depression. Yet here it comes as always. I don't eat beans and greens but not a horrible diet and I can be working every day outside getting plenty of exercise yet still get slammed out of the blue.

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[Rainrunner]

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

I have two big jobs scheduled in the next month and I set them up because I have been doing so good. I am very afraid that if I am deeply depressed I won't be able to do them but I have to. It will be very hard if I am badly depressed and have to force myself. It will be grueling. It is the main reason I am increasing the dose.

What sucks is that what is likely to happen is that 60mg will poop at some point, and then 80 will poop and then 120 will poop. That is assuming the increases work. Then I am left with few med options again. Maybe I can get Ketamine.

ok, what I see is something I do a lot. Predicting the future. Of course, the future never looks good, some kind of crap has to go wrong. For me, it's the nature of the beast. I can't look positively at stuff because....I can't.

I get the fear you have. What I try to ask myself when I get like this is "where's the evidence?" Like, where's the evidence that the meds will poop out on you or that you will be badly depressed when you start the jobs?

[TheOriginalMe]

Just a few thoughts. Is this a "normal" time of year for one of your slumps (you've said in the past they are very cyclical)? If it isn't a time of year you'd expect to slump, then it might be poop out. Another thing to consider, have you had any bugs recently that might have stopped you absorbing your meds properly? How's the anxiety? Sometimes I'm not too clear which of my low moods is anxiety and which is agitated depression. The only advice is the obvious stuff, mainly hang on in there and although working through a depression is horrible, sometimes it is the best thing to do if at all possible.

Hopefully, an adjustment to the Fetzima will do the trick.

[Altered Moment]

Originally Posted by Rainrunner

ok, what I see is something I do a lot. Predicting the future. Of course, the future never looks good, some kind of crap has to go wrong. For me, it's the nature of the beast. I can't look positively at stuff because....I can't.


I get the fear you have. What I try to ask myself when I get like this is "where's the evidence?" Like, where's the evidence that the meds will poop out on you or that you will be badly depressed when you start the jobs?

The evidence is the symptoms I have been having the last three weeks compared to the last five months. Also the fact that many have pooped in the past. I have no choice but to do the jobs depressed or not but I would rather enjoy them. The depression does color how I see things for sure. The worst part is all my self confidence goes out the window then I do see things going wrong when there is no reason to think that. The problem is lack of confidence does increase the likelihood of making mistakes and of even getting hurt.

OriginalMe it is rather early for my cycle. That usually hits October or November. Sometimes it holds off until thanks giving. I have not really been feeling any anxiety other than the fear that the depression will affect the jobs. Then there is just the fact of possibly facing another depression.


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[Altered Moment]

Oh and no bugs. One thing I do have is a good immune system and usually only get sick once each winter.

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[Rainrunner]

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

The evidence is the symptoms I have been having the last three weeks compared to the last five months. Also the fact that many have pooped in the past. I have no choice but to do the jobs depressed or not but I would rather enjoy them. The depression does color how I see things for sure. The worst part is all my self confidence goes out the window then I do see things going wrong when there is no reason to think that. The problem is lack of confidence does increase the likelihood of making mistakes and of even getting hurt.

Oh, I'm sorry. I commented not knowing the history. Was just thinking of what sometimes helps me. I hope everything works out ok for you.

[Altered Moment]

No don't be sorry. Your advice was sound. Always better to try to take it one day at a time and not give the future more fear than it deserves.

Actually you helped me because I am blowing things out of proportion. Thanks

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[CANDC]

Zinco I am impressed that you are pushing on and coping with jobs - that shows an inner strength.

[Altered Moment]

Originally Posted by CANDC

Zinco I am impressed that you are pushing on and coping with jobs - that shows an inner strength.

Thanks for that. Will see how it goes. I did manage today to do the logistics stuff I needed to do. That's fairly easy though as it is just computer and phone work.

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[mgb46]

zinco are you still taking the Lamictal and Remeron with your Fetzima? Maybe a different augmenter for the Fetzima? It would probably have to be an AP though.

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[Altered Moment]

Yes. Doc has not mentioned AAP's yet. I am hesitant to go on them. I was on abilify and pristiq for a year but the abilify didn't seem to do much. I know the AAP's seem to be getting very popular with pdocs for depression and anxiety. I am assuming because they are effective. I am concerned about the metobolic effects.

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[mgb46]

Ok. My quandary is whether to ditch the AP (Latuda) and startup Lamictal in its place, or will my pdoc have me take both in addition to my AD's. When I asked him about taking Lamictal , he seemed overly concerned with the potential skin rash side effect. I was told it was extremely rare to be affected. Can you feel the benefit of taking Lamictal daily?

[Altered Moment]

It is hard to say. I started the lamictal a month before switching to Fetzima. I did notice a big mood elevation in two weeks from the lamictal. No side affects. I believe the rash is rare and pdocs like it because of the low side effect profile. I would rather take it than latuda. But I would probably take latuda if it worked.

Hard to know what is doing what when taking combo's

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[Altered Moment]

Well yesterday I worked 10 hours and got this first job 85% done. It went very well which shows that all that anxiety was for nothing. Which I knew it was but was having a hard time not having the anxiety. Working hard all day did bring my mood way up and helped. This morning though I am feeling the lack of energy and lack of confidence again. In this case at least it is for sure depression that fuels anxiety for me. I just have to get going and get started and I will be fine. It is the getting going part that is hard.

[Clara22]

Zinco,
Have you heard about NAC?

[Mustkeepjob32]

Steven-Johnson syndrome (the skin rash) is indeed a really rare side effect of Lamictal. That's why when you start Lamictal you start on a low dose and gradually work up to it. I was on it at one time and believe it helped.

[Altered Moment]

Originally Posted by Clara22

Zinco,
Have you heard about NAC?

No. What is NAC?

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[Clara22]

N-acetyl-L-cysteine