[gina_inthewoods]

I have suffered with major depression in some form my whole adult life. There are years that are good and years that down right stink! Ever since the birth of my last child (3 years ago) I can't quite hold things together like I have been able to do previously. It's been 10 years since I have been hospitalized last and I can't shake the feeling that is where I am headed.

Work and my home life has been quite stressful the last few months. My husband and I have taken many steps to make things less complicated for me, but I am still spiraling out...

This morning I decided to use my last week of vacation to take some time to re-group. Hoping to avoid a serious break down. My depression is Moderate, but the anxiety hard to handle. My body seems to take a couple of days to react to stress. I have learnt that messing with my meds when I am in the thick of things can be devastating.

I am not sure what is the best way to use this time...

Originally Posted by gina_inthewoods

I have suffered with major depression in some form my whole adult life. There are years that are good and years that down right stink! Ever since the birth of my last child (3 years ago) I can't quite hold things together like I have been able to do previously. It's been 10 years since I have been hospitalized last and I can't shake the feeling that is where I am headed.

Work and my home life has been quite stressful the last few months. My husband and I have taken many steps to make things less complicated for me, but I am still spiraling out...

This morning I decided to use my last week of vacation to take some time to re-group. Hoping to avoid a serious break down. My depression is Moderate, but the anxiety hard to handle. My body seems to take a couple of days to react to stress. I have learnt that messing with my meds when I am in the thick of things can be devastating.

I am not sure what is the best way to use this time...

Hello gina: I'm in my mid-sixties. And I've also struggled with depression & anxiety my entire life. I believe either I was born with it, or it developed while I was still very young. I'll never know for sure. One thing I do believe, though, is as we get older it becomes progressively more difficult to "hold things together", as they say. I managed to live a more-or-less normal life despite my depression & anxiety until I reached my late 40's. Then, as I entered my fifties, my life just unraveled.

I don't know how old you are. However, you're clearly not as old as I am. Still, it sounds as though you've struggled with your depression & anxiety for quite a few years too. I don't know if I have any great suggestions for you. However I thought I would offer a few thoughts based on my own experiences.

First I would like to suggest that simply taking a week off from work, if you just stay home for the week, may only succeed in burning up your last week of vacation time. Presumably you realize this since you wrote, in your post, you weren't sure what to do during that time. I would suggest, if you're going to take time off, try to get away from home as well as work. There are many places where one can go to have a personal (private) retreat. This might be something to consider. Get away from both work & home. Give yourself the time & space to think, regroup & re-charge. Read, commune with nature, pray or meditate, or just take long walks.

My experience, as a long-term struggler with depression & anxiety is, at some point one just has to accept that this is the way it is. Whether it is some chemical imbalance in the brain, or something about your past life you have not been able to accept, or whatever; at some point you just have to accept that this is the way it is... period. That said, then, what's important is to do what you can to accommodate the problem. It's not unlike someone who loses a limb. They just have to accept that the limb is gone & they must learn to get along without it. You wrote you & your husband have taken many steps to make things less complicated. Apparently, however, the steps you have taken are either not sufficient or are not "on-target", so to speak.

It sounds as though you are on med's. But you're concerned about changing med's while you're in this downward trend. Med's can certainly help. But they're not a cure, especially for long-term depression & anxiety. I don't know if you have individual & / or group therapy. But, if not, perhaps these are things you could look into. Some type of support group could be of great benefit. Under any circumstances a visit with your prescribing physician (& therapist if you have one) may be in order.

From my perspective, especially with regard to those of us who have struggled for a long time, at some point, we must take a look at our lives, figure out what is & isn't possible, & make whatever accommodations we can to adjust to our "disability". From what you have written, it sounds as though you may be at that point. I hope something I've written here is of some small value. My best wishes to you...

[gina_inthewoods]

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Hello gina: I'm in my mid-sixties. And I've also struggled with depression & anxiety my entire life. I believe either I was born with it, or it developed while I was still very young. I'll never know for sure. One thing I do believe, though, is as we get older it becomes progressively more difficult to "hold things together", as they say. I managed to live a more-or-less normal life despite my depression & anxiety until I reached my late 40's. Then, as I entered my fifties, my life just unraveled.

I don't know how old you are. However, you're clearly not as old as I am. Still, it sounds as though you've struggled with your depression & anxiety for quite a few years too. I don't know if I have any great suggestions for you. However I thought I would offer a few thoughts based on my own experiences.

First I would like to suggest that simply taking a week off from work, if you just stay home for the week, may only succeed in burning up your last week of vacation time. Presumably you realize this since you wrote, in your post, you weren't sure what to do during that time. I would suggest, if you're going to take time off, try to get away from home as well as work. There are many places where one can go to have a personal (private) retreat. This might be something to consider. Get away from both work & home. Give yourself the time & space to think, regroup & re-charge. Read, commune with nature, pray or meditate, or just take long walks.

My experience, as a long-term struggler with depression & anxiety is, at some point one just has to accept that this is the way it is. Whether it is some chemical imbalance in the brain, or something about your past life you have not been able to accept, or whatever; at some point you just have to accept that this is the way it is... period. That said, then, what's important is to do what you can to accommodate the problem. It's not unlike someone who loses a limb. They just have to accept that the limb is gone & they must learn to get along without it. You wrote you & your husband have taken many steps to make things less complicated. Apparently, however, the steps you have taken are either not sufficient or are not "on-target", so to speak.

It sounds as though you are on med's. But you're concerned about changing med's while you're in this downward trend. Med's can certainly help. But they're not a cure, especially for long-term depression & anxiety. I don't know if you have individual & / or group therapy. But, if not, perhaps these are things you could look into. Some type of support group could be of great benefit. Under any circumstances a visit with your prescribing physician (& therapist if you have one) may be in order.

From my perspective, especially with regard to those of us who have struggled for a long time, at some point, we must take a look at our lives, figure out what is & isn't possible, & make whatever accommodations we can to adjust to our "disability". From what you have written, it sounds as though you may be at that point. I hope something I've written here is of some small value. My best wishes to you...

Thank you Skeezyks! I have thought that possibly going Camping or some day hikes would be a great idea. Sitting at home for me can be worse than working. It's nice to hear from someone who knows what It is like to go threw this long term. Thank you for your experence!

Originally Posted by gina_inthewoods

Thank you Skeezyks! I have thought that possibly going Camping or some day hikes would be a great idea. Sitting at home for me can be worse than working. It's nice to hear from someone who knows what It is like to go threw this long term. Thank you for your experence!

I wish you well, gina.

[bluetriangle]

Sorry you're going through this. You're not alone for what that's worth.

What helps me is to think a bit about those things that are my go-to wrt trying to feel better. For me it can be change of scenery (sometimes I need this just to remember my go-tos), painting, spending time with some select people, reading a particular book I'm fond of wrt the treatment of depression, etc. And then I try to pre-plan as many of these into my days as time will allow.