Sitting in dark crying

I'm just sitting here crying don't know what to do. I'm so so sensitive. I'm a grown man and should be tougher. I feel like a loser. I've been in therapy for years.

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((((((Hidesad))))))
Hope tomorrow morning brings an easier day.

I hope you feel better.

A bad day doesn't mean a bad life. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
Hugs

Just because you are a grown man doesnt mean that you dont have feelings. It's o.k that you are sensitive. Don't beat yourself up about that. When you are upset just accept that you are and try to move on from there..

Best wishes

Hi hidesad, no-one's going to be immune to depression regardless of age, gender.........and it can hurt just as much/floor you just as much, whoever you are/whatever your circumstances........so no "should"'s hey?
It isn't your fault that you're feeling like this. And you're not a loser.
I know it can be really hard to break through feelings like that, so if you want to talk a bit more, we're here for you. And whatever support we can give you...........you're not alone.

Alison

I know how you feel - my ability to feel like an adult male has significantly waned due to this depression. A year ago I was on top of the world, but depression knocked me off of my feet in a terrible way. But it's not because of me being a man or not, it's because this is a horrible disease. I hope that you're feeling a bit better today.

Hello hidesad, I am sorry you are hurting so much right now.

Thank you everyone for the kind words. I struggle so much with this side of me. Feeling so sad and just keep thinking about all the situations I feel like a loser. I collect these memories in my brain and they just show up without warning.

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Hi hidesad, if things aren't going right for you/if things haven't gone well/if you would have preferred to do different things or more in some situations...........that doesn't need to make you a loser
With depression sometimes it's about doing the best you can do and it's completely understandable if even that is really hard, let alone managing to do things you would have done without depression.
So bear in mind you have got a lot to cope with and try to "give yourself a break"/don't be too tough on yourself/don't hold yourself up to too high expectations.
It's not you failing at all, it's the depression holding you back and that isn't your fault.
So when the memories come remind yourself of the reality of the situations..........e.g. you did all you could..........
And depression can be really good at masking/hiding/downgrading any achievements/any "positives" in your life too, so maybe worth trying listing/focusing on them as well as far as you can???
I know it can be real hard though, so go easy on yourself
Alison

Alison. Thank you for your post. I will try to go easy on myself. It will be tough though. Sometimes it's like I can't even control it. Logically I can rationalize events but my emotions will often over power my reasonable logic. Thanks for the support.

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Please don't EVER think of yourself as "less of a man" for crying or being sensitive! Although I'm sorry that you felt bad enough TO cry, I think men who are sensitive like that are MORE of a man than the ones who seem to be hard hearted, cold, and insensitive. Personally, I love a man who knows his own heart, who is capable of showing emotion! I hope you're feeling better!

I'm a grown man and I was crying in the drive through to get dinner earlier, kind of hard hiding in the shadows from the people working there. I don't think that makes us losers.

Don't be afraid to get help for your depression! You sound like you're in touch with your feelings & share your thoughts beautifully, which makes you an amazing person! You're worth it!
*big warm hug*

Thanks everyone. This site is very helpful to me. Besides my therapist I rarely talk about my depression. I put on the fake exterior and try to muscle on. Most people see me as happy go lucky. As someone who lets things roll off his back. Obviously these things are the furthest from the truth. Here and with my therapist are where I let my true thoughts and emotions prevail.

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Sometimes you just can't put a brave face on. That goes for women AND men. I don't think depression discriminates. Hugs.

Hi hidesad
It really is good that you're able to let your true thoughts and emotions prevail in places- here and with your T. It can be so much to try to hold them in, to mask them, to go it alone. And I hope we're convincing you they really shouldn't be something to feel ashamed about, needless to say..........we're here for you regardless
But where you're putting on the fake exterior could there be anyone you could talk to a little more to about how you're feeling???
Although if you're not quite comfortable with that yet, I'd say at the very least with: "Most people see me as happy go lucky. As someone who lets things roll off his back" there should be some room to let go just a little???
Afterall, whatever the circumstances, most people would find it hard to be like that all the time. And even "happy go lucky" people are entitled to some "off" days.
So for now maybe try to "make use of some of those" and take the odd "step back" even if with some people you feel the need to blame it on being busy/being tired......anything. Whatever you think is best under the circumstances.
But as much as you feel you can let out, hey?? Because the way you're feeling matters, it's real, and you matter.
Anytime you want to talk.............

Alison

Thanks Alison. It can be very overwhelming at times. I was once told by my T that when I start crying and cannt stop it is my bodies way of letting it. I agree. I need to find another way to get my feelings out.

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