Struggling to stay alive.

Jolisse · Sep 27, 2014 at 09:12 AM

I'm so tired of feeling this way and I don't see a way out. I've tried every medication, therapy and anything else to get me out of this depression. Nothing seems to work, I'm sick of feeling sad and anxious. I wonder if my life is worth living anymore. I'm tired of fighting when I know everyday is going to be the same. It's been 26 yrs. since this all started, I don't know how much more I can endure!

Blitter2014 · Sep 27, 2014 at 09:21 AM

Hi Jolisse, I hear your pain and I wish I could take that pain away for you. Just for today, for this moment, can I ask you focus on some if the good times you have had in the last 26 years?

I wish I had something inspiration to say, something that could make it all better, but I can assure you it won't always feel this bad, the pain won't always be this raw. Please hang in there. Seek out help from whoever you can lean / call on. Don't give up. You can do it.

Abe Froman · Sep 27, 2014 at 10:24 AM

I often feel this way too. Just have to keep moving forward. Call somebody, anybody, and just talk with them. Doesn't have to be about this, just catch up with someone, family or friend. I promise that will help.

Alone & confused · Sep 27, 2014 at 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jolisse

I'm so tired of feeling this way and I don't see a way out. I've tried every medication, therapy and anything else to get me out of this depression. Nothing seems to work, I'm sick of feeling sad and anxious. I wonder if my life is worth living anymore. I'm tired of fighting when I know everyday is going to be the same. It's been 26 yrs. since this all started, I don't know how much more I can endure!

Honey I'm right there with ya! I'm sorry you're going through this too! I feel as though the very essence of who I was is already gone, & all that's left is this barely animated shell. We just have to wait this thing out somehow until it passes over us. That's all I know to do. Hope you feel better soon!

Jolisse · Sep 27, 2014 at 12:33 PM

Fortunately I have a great support system, but I hate talking about my problems.

lilypup · Sep 27, 2014 at 01:02 PM

Been through it for 40 years. Many good times but lots of crap. My family and friends would be devastated if I hurt myself. That keeps me going. I just have created the best life I can.

Creative1onder · Sep 27, 2014 at 05:24 PM

I feel in difficult place to in my life with illness. I dont know if i can keep going much longer. I need change but feel trapped.

Creative1onder · Sep 27, 2014 at 05:31 PM

I guess im in a more difficult place than you cos i dont have friends, partner or real help and support in managing things. I havent found talking, opening up, sharing stuff with others much good to me. I have tried different kinds of sources of help. Im def not weak. I have kept going for long time in spite of my issues. But how much more can i bare. I mean this illness/things dont get better by waiting, hoping for positive things to happen. I have to be the main person to take actions that do good for me. But its challenging motivating, believing and trusting in self and empowering self, having more control over life.

waterknob1234 · Sep 28, 2014 at 01:54 PM

Hi Jolisse, I know it gets so tiresome dealing with emotional pain and depression. I also have days that feel hopeless. I have been on several different medications, and cannot afford psychotherapy. I wish I had a good answer for you, but sometimes getting out, talking to others, and finding a distraction helps, even if it is temporary. I am thinking of you and hope this feeling passes. Stay safe.

Jolisse · Sep 28, 2014 at 02:20 PM

Thank you waterknob! I need to make an appointment with my Pdoc, obviously my meds are no longer working. I'm thinking about having the DNA testing done, to see what psychotropic will work best for me, I've heard very good things about it.
I have so many good things in my life, that I'm unable to enjoy.

Creative1onder · Sep 28, 2014 at 03:48 PM

The hardest thing is to have severe challenging illness that affects your daily life and not have positive responses from others or help and support. I have very little positive things in my life, well i dont actually feel im living real meaningful fulfilling life, i am in a difficult unpleasant isolating tiring dark place and ive suffered great deal so thats why i need to make changes but that is difficult to do, i feel trapped.

Jolisse · Sep 28, 2014 at 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Creative1onder

The hardest thing is to have severe challenging illness that affects your daily life and not have positive responses from others or help and support. I have very little positive things in my life, well i dont actually feel im living real meaningful fulfilling life, i am in a difficult unpleasant isolating tiring dark place and ive suffered great deal so thats why i need to make changes but that is difficult to do, i feel trapped.

Are you seeing a pdoc and/or therapist?

Creative1onder · Sep 29, 2014 at 04:11 AM

No im not having any help or support with it. I havent had good experiences unfortunately in seeking help from professionals. I was seeing a therapist for 2 months but relationship ended negatively and its affected me quite a lot and i don't feel like seeing another therapist. Im not in touch with doctors or mental health service. And im not on any medication.

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Abe Froman Member Member Since Sep 2014 Location: Alabama Posts: 339 10 21 hugs given	Sep 27, 2014 at 10:24 AM #3 I often feel this way too. Just have to keep moving forward. Call somebody, anybody, and just talk with them. Doesn't have to be about this, just catch up with someone, family or friend. I promise that will help.
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Jolisse Grand Poohbah Member Since Jan 2013 Location: USA Posts: 1,853 11 58 hugs given	Sep 27, 2014 at 12:33 PM #5 Fortunately I have a great support system, but I hate talking about my problems.
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lilypup Grand Poohbah Member Since Jul 2014 Location: out west Posts: 1,606 10 236 hugs given	Sep 27, 2014 at 01:02 PM #6 Been through it for 40 years. Many good times but lots of crap. My family and friends would be devastated if I hurt myself. That keeps me going. I just have created the best life I can. __________________ Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed
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Creative1onder Veteran Member Member Since Oct 2012 Posts: 631 12 1 hugs given	Sep 27, 2014 at 05:24 PM #7 I feel in difficult place to in my life with illness. I dont know if i can keep going much longer. I need change but feel trapped.
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Jolisse Grand Poohbah Member Since Jan 2013 Location: USA Posts: 1,853 11 58 hugs given	Sep 28, 2014 at 02:20 PM #10 Thank you waterknob! I need to make an appointment with my Pdoc, obviously my meds are no longer working. I'm thinking about having the DNA testing done, to see what psychotropic will work best for me, I've heard very good things about it. I have so many good things in my life, that I'm unable to enjoy.
	Reply With Quote

Creative1onder Veteran Member Member Since Oct 2012 Posts: 631 12 1 hugs given	Sep 29, 2014 at 04:11 AM #13 No im not having any help or support with it. I havent had good experiences unfortunately in seeking help from professionals. I was seeing a therapist for 2 months but relationship ended negatively and its affected me quite a lot and i don't feel like seeing another therapist. Im not in touch with doctors or mental health service. And im not on any medication.
	Reply With Quote