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Grand Member
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 862
10 3,101 hugs
given |
Dec 18, 2014 at 01:38 PM
#941
Feeling ok so far-yesterday was just very tiring. The whole anxiety thing is just wearing me out. I'm moving forward today with no expectations & will just see where the day takes me. See my tdoc this afternoon-I told him last week i'm so frustrated with everything I would just like to throw plates or something breakable-ha maybe he will accommodate me-I could pretend they are family members.
__________________ "This is just a moment in time. Step aside and let it happen."-Inara from Firefly  Bipolar Disorder Depression Generalized Anxiety Disorder OCD PTSD Insomnia Chronic Pain Prozac 30mg daily Buspar 10mg three times daily Propranolol 10mg three times daily Currently titrating up Lamictal daily Ambien 5mg prn Trazodone 50mg prn |
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 angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, regretful
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,666
(SuperPoster!)
13 5,492 hugs
given 
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Dec 18, 2014 at 01:42 PM
#942
I'm perking along is great form. Things sure can change.
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| Clara22
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 angelene, Bark, regretful
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Dec 18, 2014 at 02:10 PM
#943
I'm feeling discouraged and very disappointed in myself and my life.
I'm frustrated with the way things are currently... every day is exactly the same and it seems I never have anything to look forward to. My days are grey and uneventful. It's no wonder I'm always depressed! What frustrates me is the fact that I feel so stuck, when I'm really not. There are things I can do, I just can't seem to motivate myself enough to do them. Sure, they probably wouldn't make much of a difference in the broader scheme of my life, because I still would be living here and trying to survive my parents getting drunk and yelling every night. I suppose I don't see the point in doing things like going out of the house unless it will make me feel better, which I assume it wouldn't. |
| angelene, Bark, Clara22, hope2010, regretful
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: Foothills, where I belong
Posts: 14,593
(SuperPoster!)
11 4,064 hugs
given
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Dec 18, 2014 at 06:21 PM
#944
I think I get it. This depression is never going to end. It is up to me to find the key to my own coping.
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| angelene, Anonymous37807, Anonymous37914, Clara22, hope2010
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Out of Order
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 15,861
(SuperPoster!)
10 17.6k hugs
given
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Dec 18, 2014 at 07:31 PM
#945
I moved forward a lot today, I left a lot of unnecessary feelings behind and realised it is OK to have the ones that are left. I still feel fragile and the slightest puff of air could knock me off balance, but I'm coping.
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| angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, hope2010
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Bark, Clara22, hope2010, regretful
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: US
Posts: 698
10 1,753 hugs
given |
Dec 18, 2014 at 08:18 PM
#946
I've been thrown for a loop. A guy I know through a friend has a huge tumor in his brain; he's getting an operation on 12/23. Merry Christmas, right?
Quote:
__________________ * Panic Disorder w/ Agoraphobia * Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder * Hoarder * Fibromyalgia * Major Depressive Disorder w/ Recurrent Major Depressive Episodes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I exist here. I must learn to walk in this world." |
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| Anonymous37914, Anonymous445852, Bark, Clara22, hope2010, regretful, TheOriginalMe
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Clara22, hope2010
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Dec 18, 2014 at 11:54 PM
#947
I feel used up and useless
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| angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, hope2010, TheOriginalMe
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,666
(SuperPoster!)
13 5,492 hugs
given
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Dec 19, 2014 at 02:39 AM
#948
If I said I feel fine, that would be understatement. I feel superb.
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| Anonymous37914, Clara22, TheOriginalMe
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angelene, Bark, Clara22, hope2010
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Dec 19, 2014 at 06:48 AM
#949
Feeling a little lower today, not sure why. Plan to go jogging with my golden retriever, Belle, then to pharmacy and grocery shopping. May go to noon AA meeting and have therapy appointment at 2. (I really dread jogging - - it's actually jog/walking. The only reason I force myself to do it is because I think it's good for my depression. I think I've said this on here before; just restating it for myself.)
Oh yeah, I heard back from the museum. She sounds really interested in me as a volunteer. Have an interview in a few weeks. Wish it was sooner, but it is what it is. I just have to fill up the time as best I can in the meantime. Oh no, just found out my husband is going out of town for 5 days at the end of January (happy for him, because he's going ice fishing but not looking forward to it). Being alone while depressed is horrible. I will have to do my best to make plans with other people. Lately I hate being alone at night in the dark too, even if the dogs are around. This will not be fun for me at all. Oh well, time to put the big girl's shorts on. Last edited by Anonymous37807; Dec 19, 2014 at 07:50 AM.. |
| angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, regretful, TheOriginalMe
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Bark, Clara22, hope2010
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2008
Location: PsychCentral
Posts: 1,185
16 8,255 hugs
given
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Dec 19, 2014 at 11:30 AM
#950
That was such a stupid idea. And I thought I'd finally changed my mind.
I don't know what the consequences will be. I don't have time for consequences. I don't have time for anything. The stress is overwhelming. And it feels like I've tried everything and nothing works. No, it's just that I've been a failure. It's all my fault. Everything is pointless. |
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| angelene, Anonymous37807, Clara22, hope2010, regretful, SeekerOfLife, TheOriginalMe
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA -
Posts: 1,863
12 1,194 hugs
given
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Dec 19, 2014 at 11:33 AM
#951
Bark...I know just how you feel. It's been all my fault for years, too.
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| angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, favoritefountain2, hope2010, sideblinded, TheOriginalMe
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Member
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 145
9 36 hugs
given |
Dec 19, 2014 at 11:38 AM
#952
pretty down today, looking forward to going home and watching tv. watching the rain.
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| angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, favoritefountain2, hope2010, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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Member
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: England
Posts: 497
10 442 hugs
given |
Dec 19, 2014 at 11:39 AM
#953
worst i've been in months
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| angelene, Anonymous37807, Anonymous37914, Bark, BubonicPlague, Clara22, favoritefountain2, hope2010, sideblinded, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Dec 19, 2014 at 11:45 AM
#954
Another grey day, just like the last.
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| angelene, Bark, Clara22, favoritefountain2, hope2010, sideblinded, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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Out of Order
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 15,861
(SuperPoster!)
10 17.6k hugs
given
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Dec 19, 2014 at 06:26 PM
#955
I got busy today. I was working from home, finishing up one or two reports and legitimately researching when first I came across a job to apply for and then an Employment Law firm who specialise in Mental Health discrimination cases. A change of fortune perhaps or another dead end?
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| angelene, Anonymous37914, Clara22, favoritefountain2, hope2010, sideblinded
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Bark, Turtlesoup
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: US
Posts: 698
10 1,753 hugs
given |
Dec 19, 2014 at 07:32 PM
#956
I feel overwhelmed. I don't know what to do about it. Can't even properly articulate it at the moment.
__________________ * Panic Disorder w/ Agoraphobia * Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder * Hoarder * Fibromyalgia * Major Depressive Disorder w/ Recurrent Major Depressive Episodes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I exist here. I must learn to walk in this world." |
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| Bark, Clara22, sideblinded, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
given |
Dec 19, 2014 at 07:45 PM
#957
I am feeling better, started a new medication two days ago and I can tell already that am less anxious, less panicky, the racing thoughts are almost gone, I am thankful for this improvement, I needed so much to feel more stable.
The other great news for us is that my husband is finally out of risk from a possible lung tumor and his lungs are free of fluids from his pneumonia. Slowly things are working out for us, slowly am glad that I did not give up! Took many phone calls to my Pdoc, leaving messages, finally got an emergency appointment with her last Wednesday, she even apologies to me for prescribed the wrong medication a week before, I appreciated that she is humble enough to see that her prescription of Lexapro was not the right for me at all. Matter of fact, if I wasn't persistent and keep calling the emergency nurse psychiatrist, keep asking to be seeing asap. I will be at the ER with not much help. Finally, my point is that the wrong medication can lead to a serious chemical distress in my brain, am glad my therapist also email my Psychiatrist and that all the Mental Health Clinic stuff helped so much, till I have had seeing and medicated with a mood stabilizer (Lacmictal). I want to thank you all for keeping up with me here, for each "hugs" that mean a lot to me, it is you taking your time to support me here, it is you all taking the time to be kind and understand what I went through. Big Thanks. Stay well, Hugs __________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord 
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| Bark, Clara22, sideblinded, TheOriginalMe
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Angelique67, Bark, Clara22, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: Iowa
Posts: 5,331
10 3,940 hugs
given
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Dec 19, 2014 at 08:24 PM
#958
I seem to be going in and out of deep depression right now. I don't have bipolar but I am just up and down with depression only. No mania just depression. It really sucks! Christmas was my mom's favorite holiday and I guess it is about missing her. She died of cancer and I miss her dearly.
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| Bark, Clara22, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 610
11 351 hugs
given
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Dec 20, 2014 at 01:30 AM
#959
I want to ****ing die...
Why am I still alive? There's no ****ing purpose for me to still be here! Kill me already, PLEASE!!! 
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| Bark, Clara22, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: Albury, Australia
Posts: 305
12 |
Dec 20, 2014 at 02:11 AM
#960
Quote:
I'm sure you've been through a lot before and you will get through this too. Stay strong, I know how horrible that feeling is but it will pass. __________________ "Mental wounds still screaming, Driving me insane I'm going off the rails on a crazy train" |
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| TheOriginalMe
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Bark, Clara22, Turtlesoup
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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