[Garthorg]

I recently lost my home due to sequestration (my entire department was eliminated), and I have had to move to a rental home. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to find the home, but I am having to move all of my belongings myself. None of my 'friends' even offered to help when I told them my situation. I have ALWAYS been there for them when they needed help. I volunteer to help them with anything that they bring up, but when I needed them most, they were no there. I am so sad and tired. I haven't finished the move, and I only have four days before I have to vacate the house. I don't know... I am so tired, I just want to die.

Originally Posted by Garthorg

I recently lost my home due to sequestration (my entire department was eliminated), and I have had to move to a rental home. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to find the home, but I am having to move all of my belongings myself. None of my 'friends' even offered to help when I told them my situation. I have ALWAYS been there for them when they needed help. I volunteer to help them with anything that they bring up, but when I needed them most, they were no there. I am so sad and tired. I haven't finished the move, and I only have four days before I have to vacate the house. I don't know... I am so tired, I just want to die.

Hello Garthorg: Welcome to PC! Yes, unfortunately your experience does not seem to be out of the ordinary. Quite often I read posts from PC members who have been left high-&-dry by friends whom they have helped previously. Moving your entire houseful of belongings by yourself must be difficult, especially when there is a time limit involved.

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[Frankbtl]

Hi Garthorg, I'm really sorry you're going through this. As if it wasn't bad enough having to move, but then feeling let down by your friends..............that's got to hurt.
But you know sometimes people can be a bit thoughtless, or not realize how hard things might be. And especially if you've helped them out so much, maybe they're seeing you as the strong, organized, "together" one. Or maybe they feel that they'd be "imposing" at this vulnerable time by "stepping in"/feel that would be something you'd be uncomfortable with.
I know it seems pretty obvious to us that you may appreciate some help, even the offer of help, even the offer of understanding/support but for some people........they may care, but just not know how/be aware of how to show it.
So, what I'd do would be to find some things that people could help you with and ask if they could do..........for you, even if they're just small things. Or ask if they've got any free time to help you, and when and then work from there on what they could do. And people might not do everything you'd want, but if they could do something, hey??
I know you shouldn't have to ask, but maybe give them that opportunity to prove themselves in whatever ways they can, hey??
And it is really good that you've at least managed to get a new home, right?? You are going to make it, whatever. And six months/a year from now..........things are going to look a bit different/better, with or without those friends!!!
But your feelings about the move/what's gone on.........I know they must be hard to deal with
And maybe your friends will find it hard "to know what to say" it is a big thing for you, and sometimes it's more understanding and support you need anyway, right?? But if you're struggling/they aren't there for you, then just know you can always come here. There are a lot of caring/understanding/supportive people on here and you won't be alone.
So, welcome to PC!! And if you want to talk........................

Alison

[Altered Moment]

I find that no one will ever volunteer to help move. You have to ask them for help.

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