[Bluesday]

Usually I decline invitations to places, but I haven't seen this friend in a few years, so I agreed to dinner with him and his girlfriend. Boy did that backfire! I got to hear about their extremely successful lives, their large house, their impending marriage. I also got to look at an iphone full of vacation photos. In return, I got to share....absolutely nothing. I'm not working, I don't have a girlfriend, and I don't even KNOW the last time I've been on a real vacation. I drove away feeling just completely worthless as a human being.

[flours]

I know that feeling. get that when I talk to anyone I know. I hope you could at least take something good from the situation. like some nice food or chat or whatever...

[Bluesday]

Originally Posted by flours

I know that feeling. get that when I talk to anyone I know. I hope you could at least take something good from the situation. like some nice food or chat or whatever...

Yes, I got a free meal....which also made me sad. Like they were thinking "Let's pick up the check for the unemployed guy."

[Frankbtl]

Hi Bluesday, I'm sorry it left you feeling like that after you'd taken that big step in going. But you know there's every chance that they weren't going to be telling you about the "imperfections" in their lives. And most people are going to have them.
Real congrats on not declining the invitation and going though, that was a big achievement so please try not to let the experience sell that short!!!!
And please try not to let it put you off accepting invitations again when you can/you're able, maybe just not from him again right now.
And if you don't have a girlfriend, job, go on vacations.........right now, just remember that makes you no less worthy than anyone else.

Alison

[flours]

Originally Posted by Bluesday

Yes, I got a free meal....which also made me sad. Like they were thinking "Let's pick up the check for the unemployed guy."

I didn't mean it like that.
I just think if you're feeling so bad you have trouble being with other people at all it is totally fine to think of it a bit egoistically and try to see what you can get from the situation that is actually working for you and concentrate on that.

[ombrétwilight]

Same here. I hate it when I go on social media and see pictures of other people's happy lives. Then I think there's something all the more wrong with me - because what nice person dislikes other people's happiness? I don't wish for them to be as miserable as me, but I definitely get jealous when I see peers looking good and enjoying their private pools with their boy/girlfriends. I wonder why I even go on social media!

Sorry to hear that you're feeling this way after dinner with your friend. I would probably get a bit miffed too. But this does not mean that social interaction is not good for you per se, it's just that you've got to choose the type of people you hang out with i.e. someone who won't make you feel even more depressed. I'm sure your friend is a good guy, but maybe he's not the best person to be around now.

[flours]

Originally Posted by ombrétwilight

Same here. I hate it when I go on social media and see pictures of other people's happy lives.

Yeah it's a typical facebook problem. I avoid it and stopped reading what people post because you get a really distorted idea about how happy everybody is and what great things they are doing all the time.
for me too this is a big problem. whenever I meet people they tell me good news for them and it gets me down and I feel even bad because I am not happy for them.
so I try switching the topic or sometimes I just say that what they are telling me makes me depressed and I want to talk about something else because it reminds me of what I lack.
sometimes people just keep talking after I said that and so I know I shouldn't meet them so often. but I think it's okay just to say it if you don't want to hear something if it doesn't come across rude.

I get the feeling it's not about the others' lives so much as it is about me and mine ... And how I must appear to them ... Like I've missed out, or am lagging behind, or not good enough somehow.

Then I get to thinking that people who don't have or understand mental health issues will never know how much harder we have to work at life just to maintain our existence.

And, that makes all of us more than heroes in my eyes!

[Pierro]

You are not in a great place right now but things don't always stay the same. Just because things are going well for your friend doesn't mean that it should reflect badly on you. Yes of course we all measure our sucess on our friends and how well they are doing. Things dont stay the same for ever and things will change for you.
Best wishes

[Fuzzybear]

[cryingontheinside]

I found a similar feeling when i met up with an old friend from school. All she wantes to do was show off and talk about her job her career, her sucess and she got her self so dolled up just to say "hey dont i look good"

[alwayswriting111]

I'm sorry about how you felt spending the evening catching up with friends. I feel that way often and don't like going out.