Just so damn ANGRY

PC has become somewhat of an online outlet for me........

Feeling REALLY pissed off tonight.............just want to break everything in my path.................

I'm all alone, so I'm just going to continue to scream & swear....................really, I feel like setting this bloddy house on fire & destroying ALL of its contents.....................JUST BASHING EVERYTHING IN IT TO PIECES.............AND THEN MORE PIECES........................BASHING EVERYTHING, THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK, THE BIG TV, THE LITTLE TV, THE MIRRORS, THE CAR WINDOWS, ALL OF THE STUPID MERCHANDISE DOWNSTAIRS, THE CHINA, ALL OF THE STUPID, UGLY PICTURES IN THIS HOUSE, THE WINDOWS, THE VCR, THE DVD, THE COMPUTER, THE PRINTER, THE FAX, THE WINDOWS AGAIN, MORE OF THE STUPID PICTURES WITH THE FAKE SMILES ON OUR FACES, JUST EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE THIS HOUSE, I HATE ALL OF THE HORRIBLE MEMORIES, I HATE THE PEOPLE WHO LIVED HERE, I HATE MYSELF...........I HATE MY LIFE............!@#$%^&*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to cry but no tears are coming.

(((((((((((((Desperado))))))))))))))))

Those are hard feelings to live with and try to contain. I'm sorry.

I've felt that way...that if I'd just see some damage that would be reflective of the intense anger I felt, I'd feel better.

Can you go in there and grab a couple of old shirts that you don't really wear anymore and rip them to shreds? That's helped me before. With each tear you can imagine a tearing into that rage, those memories, etc., and then throw that piece aside. It seemed like doing something destructive (knowing my limits) focused that rage and helped to dissipate it.

Do you have anyone there with you? Do you have a t, friend, anyone you can call?

KD

Thank you for your post, Kimmydawn.

Yes, I despise my intense feelings -- I feel like I am an insane person with rage like this.

I was shredding some old pictures before, which helped a little I guess, but yelling will hopefully help. I do have some old Tee's, but I think I might get my plastic bat out. I don't know. I just wish I could cry to let this anger out instead.

No, I don't have a T right now. I'm alone. Yes, I could call a friend, but she will tell me that it's not worth getting so angry about. Other friends don't understand my rage either, so that's why I'm on PC now.

Thanks again for your support........I appreicate it.

((((((((((((((((((((( KImmydawn )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Des

(((((((((((((((((((((DESSY)))))))))))))))))))))))

AW SWEETIE I'M SO SORRY YOU FEEL LIKE THIS. I WISH I COULD HELP.

YOU SOUND LIKE YOU NEED A GOOD SOB - I WISH YOU COULD SOMEHOW....

I'M HERE FOR YOU SHOULD YOU NEED TO PM OR ANYTHING, MAYBE VENT SOME ANGER ON ME, I DESERVE IT TODAY LOL, HAD WINE LAST NIGHT AND FEEL TERRIBLE.(HEADACHE)

TAKE CARE DESSY, THINKING OF YOU , KERRY XXXXX

(((((((((((Desperado))))))))))))))

Just keep venting

(((((((((((Desy)))))))))))

I wish there was something I could do or say to help take away your rage. But, I have no answers, no magic wand. All I have are hugs and a strong shoulder should you need them.

*Gentle Hugs*
J

(((((((((((((((((Desperado))))))))))))))))

I know that rage. It is NOT in your best interest, as I'm sure you know. While you have every right to be angry, it's only good to find a better way to channel this frustration and energy.

I hope that doesn't sound non-supportive. I know it isn't what you want to hear... but I'm giving you what my T gave/gives me (similar) when I hit one of these walls... and no, I don't like it either, but it IS what I need to hear.

How can we here at PC help you find better ways to work through this? Yes, sometimes tearing up some things that you can just throw away and be done with is ok... but destroying good things and property that will cost you not only money but time, energy (and for me pain) is not logical.

Can you identify and note what exactly you are angry about? Catastrophizing often has a play in rage IMO... time to get the facts straight in our minds so we can work on healthy responses and reactions.

(((((((((((( desperado ))))))))))))))

Bottled up anger is not good for you and turning the anger on yourself is no good either.

Anger is a difficult thing to cope with, it needs to come out but in a safe way.

Punching a pillow is a good one, you can even draw a face on the pillow if you want to and it won't do any harm.

Take care.

Hello Desperado.
I am sorry you are feeling raged at this time. It is hard to feel rage and not want to destroy something. I sincerely hope your therapist can help you to learn how to deal with your rage in a manner that is effective for you in the future. I know that some people feel better journaling, or writing poetry, and some with meditation, yoga or martial arts. These are all good ways to release the anger, also the therapist can help direct you to the best therapeutic maneuver for yourself. I hope the best for you Desp. PM anytime Soidhonia

(((((((((Desperado))))))))))))) You got us here. We'll listen, we care. I hope that you're feeling better-hopefully you've gotten some sleep. Please keep coming here to vent.

((((((((((((desy)))))))))))))))
Im sorry. like you told me...go outside and throw whatever you can find, if it helps any. I know it helps to to destroy everything around you, because it sucks to know that everyone else in the world seems to not notice that anythings wrong. Wish there was more I could do. but im here for you to talk to girl.take care!!

DESY!!!!!!

I wished I could scoop you up and bring you here!!!!!! Effing Ts in Canada!?!!? Why aren't they helping you?????? You really need someone, don't give up searching, maybe even leave a message with one who isn't accepting new patients and tell them how desperate you are.....ask them for help at least to find a referral to someone who will take you....can u give this a try?

Dang, I wished I could kidnap my t and fly her up there...

I'm so sorry you are struggling!

Dear Desy!!!!!

i am sorry..... to hear that. but take care of your self.

Des, sorry to hear that you are having so much anger. I used to have rage issues after my last divorce. My doctor put me on Klonopin, which helped alot!!

Thank you, Jin.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jin)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

No, you do not deserve my anger......wine or no wine.......

Hope your headache has cleared.

Take care & have a good day, Jin.

Love

Desy

Hugs right back to you, Isy.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Isy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you for all of your support. I owe you.

I hope you are having a good day.....and I hope you weren't too late for school............sorry about that. ** Guilty cringe **

Love

Desy

Sorry, guys........I will continue my thank you's later today......I hope you aren't upset w/ me or feel left out.

Just so tired. Need. bed. now. (Say in Homer's voice).

Desy

Thank you, everyone, for all of your posts of support. They have helped me through.

Not so angry, extremely depressed, guilty & anxious now........going to try some yoga tonight.

Take care, my friends.

Desy

((((Des)))) you are not alone but I admire your courage in asking for help here, I really do. Perhaps follow your lead next time I'm afflicted.

Thank you, Frozen. Your post was very sweet.

I never thought of myself as courageous. I posted here at that time b/c I was desperate.

I hope you don't experience that rage any time soon.

Hugs,

Des

(((((((((((((( Desperado )))))))))))))))

I'm feelin ya. I get like that fairly often, especially when I am alone with room to think and at night when the day's thoughts have time to eat at me. I'm feeling ya- it totally sucks.

I know how your feeling, Im feeling that way right now. It's really hard to calm down when your at that point. But really, when u think about it, your going to be more mad later when u get over breaking stuff , because u will than have a big mess to clean up, and u will be pissed cause all of ur stuff is broken. I suggest getting a punching bag with a set of nice gloves. I have one, and wouldnt be w/o it. If u ever need anyone to talk to, E-mail me. Big HUGS!
MamazAngel