no idea

Nobody in chat and just had to talk to someone. I really have no idea what i'm doing now or after this is typed. My parents and family friends came over yesterday and are still here.They were so happy to seee each other last night, but did nothing but talk about it all and cry. THen they want to go for a walk. I went cause they wouldn't leave me alone about it. I left them in the walk and went back to my house. I rode my bike fast and angry and depresees, scared and lonely and going to ride into the 40 Arpent and let the water mocassins eat me alive. I failed at that. I hite a hole in the streeet with no man hole cover anf flew head first over my bike. i stayed in the street to the sun came up. My wrist is swollen and hurts and scrapes and brusies. Why couldn't it have worked. I walked back to my trailer and smelld breakfast food. I m not hungry so went in the house. I scraped foam from the swindows and swept up. Tracy stopped by to talk about Irvan. She jsut found out and upset. Fema came by wants me out of trailer by april 1st. I got the letter from them and they want the money back. My mom is crying agin all day. Ronnie and Betty went to see other people and coming back later. Tres' is digging a hole in my yard. He says i need a pond. My dad is laying down hurting from the surgery. And im dont know what to do about anything. i have another night to go with them all and want them to go,but want them to stay. I dont know when ill see them again. i want to cry so hard and cant make a tear. Im dried up and gone. my mind has gone blank again. im sorry i cant think no more.

((( chalmette ))))

Have you considered going back with them? Since you have to be out of the trailer anyway, maybe that would be something you could do, now or very soon.

I think the back and forth of seeing them/missing them has been very hard on you lately.

I'm so sorry you are hurting physically and emotionally! Mabye you should have that wrist looked at by the ER.

That's a thought echoes...

Hey chalmette, did you forget your thread you began in PTSD forum? Just wondering... TC

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Im not leaving the trailer. Fema aint going to get it. Not yet. I'll chain myself to the tanks and they'll have to drag me away with it. I cant live in the apt with my family. To many people in a small cramped area. At least in the trailer i have a bed to sleep in. In the apt I was in a sleeping bag on the floor. 10 months in a sleeping bag on the floor of 3 different places was enough for me. I've got ice on my wrist and keeping it on till tomrrow. I'll see how it is then and go from there. I dont think its broke, but not for sure. The back and forth of seeing family and friends is killing me and them too. You'd think that when we do get together it would be a huge celebration. Its not. Everyone is so down and all the talk is of the storm and rebuilding or jsut all the other crap that is going on along with. And crying, everybody. You get beat down so much for so long, its all you begin to know. I wont be riding my bike for awhile now, its got a messed up front end, but I did it to myself.

Sky, thank you, I did forget about it. My memory has flown the coop.

Hugs ya'll
chalmette

Hello Chalmette.
I hope things get better for you soon. I am sorry you have to get out of your trailer, but you need to try to stay rational and make plans to move with your family. Then when things get more stable then you can make arrangements to do what you have to do to have another home. I feel that if you got mental heath treatment they could help you find housing and take some of the pressure off of you at this time that you are going through. I sincerely hope you will consider getting the professional. help you need that can help you with the decisions you need to make at this time. I hope the best for you Chalmette. Take care Soidhonia