[lameo]

How can you deal with severe loneliness?

[Ozisl]

If you find out, lemme know, because I've been confused about that for a few decades.

Last night I had a dream about just hugging someone and woke up really sad :-/

[ptangptang]

I won't give you all the usual advice as i'm sure you know that already. Loneliness has eaten away at my soul all my life and lets just say i don't want a lonely old age, one way or another. I'm 58. Superficial friendships and company are easy to find. Deep meaningful relationships ( sexual or otherwise) are harder to find if you appear somewhat out of the 'norm' for society. Lots of times people have let me down and left me wondewring about the true nature of humanity but you get up of the floor, dust yourself down, get out there and start again. But superficiality isn't enough. We need to connect to people on a deeper level and that is not easy. Sorry i can't be more postive. I guess just get out and do 'stuff'. At least it takes your mind off feeling lonely until you come back to a cold , empty home and a single bed.

[QuagmireTrekker]

I usually just let it fade away gradually itself without finding other ways which can substantially eliminate it. Outside university I always feel lonely because I like the academic atmosphere which is not available outside university. I miss those peer interactions in university. I hope to go back to it soon. I have been mired in this academic desert floundering for eons. I can't meet anybody to talk about those academic disciplines I am interested in outside university at all.
I found education changes people greatly. I can feel people of different majors and professional fields have different dispositions. They talk differently and have different concepts of value. I feel incompatible with people whose fields are too far away from me.

[TheMagnifiCat]

Hehehe! If you can package it, I will take one!

[wearyone]

Although my profile says I am new here, I actually am not. I had to re-register because I couldn't remember my old password. Anyway, back to the subject: Loneliness. I have never been what you call a social butterfly but I had a circle of friends who I did stuff with until I got divorced and my illness became public. Those longtime friends disappeared; guess they thought they were going to catch something. After that the few new friendships I have had I must admit I have tried to keep at a distance, never knowing if they are going to freak out or not if they know the real me. As for personal close relationships they are even harder to come by, let alone trust since my marriage didn't last through the "in sickness and health" portion. I've been out of a serious relationship now for 5 years and feel as though the good years must be behind me. I wonder sometimes if the rest of my life is going to be just me, myself, and I. My work isn't with people per se, just their pets and I have only about two friends(seriously), both of whom are married. I grew up in this city but life got away from me after the divorce. My daughter moved this past year 3,000 miles away with her newborn son, boyfriend and his daughter and though we are close, texting and phone calls aren't enough. I have no other relatives in town. I lost all self confidence when my last relationship ended and I began having social anxiety attacks that I have had to fight off. I tried volunteering but at each place they wanted a set schedule and I can't do that due to my health and my part time work. Besides most of the people I was "helping" were better off than me, haha! Anyway, I've also tried joining community classes but the cost became a problem, even bowling on a league was too expensive. So much for living the good life on disability,eh? Sometimes I think I must have a sign hanging off of me somewhere that says "stay away, flawed human" because I feel I don't seem to fit in anywhere I used to, you know? So what do I do? I make myself go for walks with my dog, go to movies (cheap theaters) alone, go to the local coffee shop (drink inexpensive stuff) and read for an hour or so a couple of days a week just to get out among people. Like someone above said, you keep going on doing your thing and try not to think about going home to an empty house. I can't help but think if I had more money I would be doing more things. I don't know that I would be any less lonely, but I would be a lot busier and maybe not think about it as much. Good luck with life!

[Tommo]

Yeah. I'm new. This is my first post. I gotta say that reading that at least a few people share my feelings makes me feel less lonely!

I do have a support base...wife and sons...so physical loneliness isn't my problem. It's that...as a provider...I'm the one that's got to "carry the pail" for everyone else so this leaves me...well, lonely! I'm 63 and need more of "me", I guess. It seems every attempt at alleviating this comes up short.

[lonely-and-sad]

Originally Posted by wearyone

Although my profile says I am new here, I actually am not. I had to re-register because I couldn't remember my old password. Anyway, back to the subject: Loneliness. I have never been what you call a social butterfly but I had a circle of friends who I did stuff with until I got divorced and my illness became public. Those longtime friends disappeared; guess they thought they were going to catch something. After that the few new friendships I have had I must admit I have tried to keep at a distance, never knowing if they are going to freak out or not if they know the real me. As for personal close relationships they are even harder to come by, let alone trust since my marriage didn't last through the "in sickness and health" portion. I've been out of a serious relationship now for 5 years and feel as though the good years must be behind me. I wonder sometimes if the rest of my life is going to be just me, myself, and I. My work isn't with people per se, just their pets and I have only about two friends(seriously), both of whom are married. I grew up in this city but life got away from me after the divorce. My daughter moved this past year 3,000 miles away with her newborn son, boyfriend and his daughter and though we are close, texting and phone calls aren't enough. I have no other relatives in town. I lost all self confidence when my last relationship ended and I began having social anxiety attacks that I have had to fight off. I tried volunteering but at each place they wanted a set schedule and I can't do that due to my health and my part time work. Besides most of the people I was "helping" were better off than me, haha! Anyway, I've also tried joining community classes but the cost became a problem, even bowling on a league was too expensive. So much for living the good life on disability,eh? Sometimes I think I must have a sign hanging off of me somewhere that says "stay away, flawed human" because I feel I don't seem to fit in anywhere I used to, you know? So what do I do? I make myself go for walks with my dog, go to movies (cheap theaters) alone, go to the local coffee shop (drink inexpensive stuff) and read for an hour or so a couple of days a week just to get out among people. Like someone above said, you keep going on doing your thing and try not to think about going home to an empty house. I can't help but think if I had more money I would be doing more things. I don't know that I would be any less lonely, but I would be a lot busier and maybe not think about it as much. Good luck with life!

I have a lot in common with you. I go to coffee shops looking for people like you.

[Tommo]

Originally Posted by wearyone

Although my profile says I am new here, I actually am not. I had to re-register because I couldn't remember my old password. Anyway, back to the subject: Loneliness. I have never been what you call a social butterfly but I had a circle of friends who I did stuff with until I got divorced and my illness became public. Those longtime friends disappeared; guess they thought they were going to catch something. After that the few new friendships I have had I must admit I have tried to keep at a distance, never knowing if they are going to freak out or not if they know the real me. As for personal close relationships they are even harder to come by, let alone trust since my marriage didn't last through the "in sickness and health" portion. I've been out of a serious relationship now for 5 years and feel as though the good years must be behind me. I wonder sometimes if the rest of my life is going to be just me, myself, and I. My work isn't with people per se, just their pets and I have only about two friends(seriously), both of whom are married. I grew up in this city but life got away from me after the divorce. My daughter moved this past year 3,000 miles away with her newborn son, boyfriend and his daughter and though we are close, texting and phone calls aren't enough. I have no other relatives in town. I lost all self confidence when my last relationship ended and I began having social anxiety attacks that I have had to fight off. I tried volunteering but at each place they wanted a set schedule and I can't do that due to my health and my part time work. Besides most of the people I was "helping" were better off than me, haha! Anyway, I've also tried joining community classes but the cost became a problem, even bowling on a league was too expensive. So much for living the good life on disability,eh? Sometimes I think I must have a sign hanging off of me somewhere that says "stay away, flawed human" because I feel I don't seem to fit in anywhere I used to, you know? So what do I do? I make myself go for walks with my dog, go to movies (cheap theaters) alone, go to the local coffee shop (drink inexpensive stuff) and read for an hour or so a couple of days a week just to get out among people. Like someone above said, you keep going on doing your thing and try not to think about going home to an empty house. I can't help but think if I had more money I would be doing more things. I don't know that I would be any less lonely, but I would be a lot busier and maybe not think about it as much. Good luck with life!

I can identify with how you feel. Lots of people here can. So...maybe you're not as alone as you think! If you were my neighbour...you'd be welcome here at any time!

[Tommo]

Originally Posted by lonely-and-sad

I have a lot in common with you. I go to coffee shops looking for people like you.

I see you are from Australia! Me, too!!! I'm in the Northern Rivers area...

Whata co-inky-dink!

[lonely-and-sad]

Lismore? I am Sydney guy.

[Tommo]

Nah! Kingscliffe. First lived in Cremorne, though. Met the gal next door...and here I am. I'm an expat NY-ker......

Good site for what ails you.

EDIT: 43 yesterday!!!! That's 109 F...ouch!

[lonely-and-sad]

I suppose it is. Just wish I wasn't in such a desperate state. I am getting worse with things very much on top of me.

[Creative1onder]

Originally Posted by ptangptang

I won't give you all the usual advice as i'm sure you know that already. Loneliness has eaten away at my soul all my life and lets just say i don't want a lonely old age, one way or another. I'm 58. Superficial friendships and company are easy to find. Deep meaningful relationships ( sexual or otherwise) are harder to find if you appear somewhat out of the 'norm' for society. Lots of times people have let me down and left me wondewring about the true nature of humanity but you get up of the floor, dust yourself down, get out there and start again. But superficiality isn't enough. We need to connect to people on a deeper level and that is not easy. Sorry i can't be more postive. I guess just get out and do 'stuff'. At least it takes your mind off feeling lonely until you come back to a cold , empty home and a single bed.

I agree its hard to find true meaningful lasting close friendships. When have depression interacting with others is hard and others can be negative towards in their what they say or how they behave.

[Tommo]

Originally Posted by lonely-and-sad

I suppose it is. Just wish I wasn't in such a desperate state. I am getting worse with things very much on top of me.

I am buried alive, matey. But I promised myself that...on this site...I'd be as "up" as possible. I am dealing with incredible stress and trying to get through it. I went to this the other night and I am still on a buzz from it. You are in Sydney... GO!!!!! It's this week!!! Drop what you are doing...get there.

YES tour Australia & New Zealand in November 2014

EDIT: Sorry!!! They are walking on stage right this second.