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jajayness
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Default Dec 21, 2014 at 12:47 AM
  #1
Hopefully this is where this should go?

Anyway, in the past I've given into my negative emotions a lot, ruminating and dwelling on them, leading me to feeling quite depressed.

Lately, I've found if I just tell myself over and over that I don't care about anything that's bothering me, I can move on without getting caught up in all of my feelings.

However, it's making me feel less connected with people and I feel like I'm not as empathetic as I am when I let the negative emotions take over. But it helps immensely with not feeling really depressed and being able to "move on" and focus on important things like work.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone can relate and/or if you have found a way to balance these two things out...
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Altered Moment
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Default Dec 21, 2014 at 04:09 AM
  #2
Welcome to PC.

I think your tactic is a good one and I would stick with it. I think balance will come on its own the more you practice what is working and get a handle on the negative emotions taking over.

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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman

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StillHopefulinPA
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Default Dec 21, 2014 at 03:21 PM
  #3
It's a great tatic that you have, but I also think that small steps are better than large ones. Rome wasn't built in a day and it was the tortoise who won the race. I think your body is telling you that it's ok to concentrate on you first and foremost.

I lived in a world of negative thinking a long time and it's easy to regress...it takes time to focus only on you.

Best wishes to you
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ManOfConstantSorrow
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Default Dec 21, 2014 at 04:11 PM
  #4
Well said, being too empathetic, a worrier and generally caring too much is a grave mistake (tho' I would not worry too much about this as it far from uncommon).

Look around - I am pretty sure you will find most people don't care/worry/empathise that much and they seem to be perfectly content with this. There is a lesson here.

I expect if you probe you will find your more extreme concerns and worries don't much resonate with others and if they don't care why should you? In any case there is little that one can do about most things so you just have to do what you can, and let it go at that.
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Default Dec 22, 2014 at 10:51 AM
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jajayness
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Default Dec 22, 2014 at 05:27 PM
  #6
Thank you all for the replies (and the group hug)

I'll just continue to do what I'm doing since it's working out for me pretty well. I guess I'm just not used to putting my needs first--it makes me feel a bit selfish. And I'm not used to letting things go that I can't control, but this seems like a good start towards that. Hopefully all that made sense...

Anyway, I plan to talk about the whole thing with my therapist. I just wanted to see if anyone had any feedback I could hear sooner, as my next appointment isn't until January 23.

Thanks again! I appreciate all of your replies.
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