[Beanbag0]

My parents fight constantly and my dad can be so irrational and horrible. My mom does her best to keep peace but there is no getting through to him. He brings down my whole family and it make me so sad to c my mom so upset... what if it all my fault that they have so many problems? I know I have many problems with weight and anxiety and maybe this is ruining their relationship. I almost wish my dad would just leave because he is so nasty... but she would be so sad if he left and I do love him. My brother is just stuck in the middle and he is only 14. I hate being at home and seeing my parents fight all the time. It's just so hard.

[sideblinded]

Hi Beanbag0

It sounds like a very frustrating experience at home. I hope you know that you are not the reason that your parents fight. That is their doing and it is their dynamic. I don't know if the holidays has any added component where you live or in your home but it affects me. Your weight and anxiety cannot ruin anyone else's relationship. Please don't think that you are the blame. I think you sound level headed and I appreciate how you care about your brother. Is there anyway you can remove yourself from their arguments? Can you go to another room or do something with your brother that is positive? Can you tell your parents how much their arguments are hurting you? I hope it gets better for you.

[Beanbag0]

I can go into another room but they shout so loudly and their argument can go on for days. It causes so much tension in the house. I can't tell my dad he just gets more upset and miserable at everyone. I think I am to blame a lot though...

[foxdog]

you're not to blame. my parents are the same. it sounds like your dad is the one to blame. he has anger issues and a habit of taking emotions out on your mother. i really feel for you because my house is the same. i do not speak to my dad and my mom has autoimmune health problems because of the stress.

the only thing i can advise is for you to help around the house and be there for your mom and brother. i would say try and confront your dad but like mine, he seems like a lost cause.

[Anxious Minds]

The hardest part about being a young person (and I mean anybody who is around 25 years old or younger) is shedding that notion that your parents actions and opinions define who you are. Especially when you're a child or a teenager, we have this tendency to think that the things that happen to us and around us mean something about us.

What your parents do and their actions really don't hold any meaning about your worth as a person. I know that it's easier said than done (I spent YEARS wrestling with that and still struggle to get that through my noggin). I suppose we hang on their opinions so much because we love them. We look to them to help us find meaning in the world, and when their actions are negative, we take that to mean negative things about ourselves.

So, the big thing for you to take away here is to begin that process of realizing the truth about your parents: that their actions and what they say and do has nothing to do with who you are as a person and everything to do with who THEY are as people. They are only acting on what they know about the world, and they are only doing the best they can with the resources they have available. Often times they don't even think about how their actions affect you because, as an adult, the stresses of life can be overwhelming and it's easy to lose sight of what is important.

[Idiot17]

Tension at home caused by parents......no way to describe it. Beyond unbearable.

(((((((Beanbag))))))))