[lost_inthecrowd]

…Looks like I was here 6 years ago… Wow… Wish I could say I’m older and wiser! Trigger icon because I don't know if anything I say could be triggish? If anyone gets my "I've only done this once before" line, major kudos to you

Hello everyone, I’m a soon to be 32 year old woman who’s been dealing with depression for the last 19 years. I would love to say that DBT counseling or a miracle drug has truly helped but that would mean I’d need to be depression-free and that isn’t the truth. I guess my biggest problem is communicating how I feel about, well, everything and as a result it’s limited the biggest resource anyone really has: friends, family, confidants. So I’d like to make some virtual friends so I don’t feel so insanely crazy all the time.


I’ve been suicidal 4 times, I’ve experienced disassociation and paranoia, I’ve been deathly afraid of telephones (and currently still have problems with it), I need to be with someone if I ever use the subway in Grand Central and I once used to think that I’d never be able to drive long distances (was able to break that irrational thought by driving down to VA with a friend). So I’m definitely quirky at best.

I struggle with feeling like a real adult and not like a child all the time, taking everything that comes at me personally. I don’t feel like anyone in my life really understands me or my thoughts and I know only another depressed person can relate the best with me. I’d like to be a lot stronger, especially after 19 years, but it’s hard to break the bad habit of keeping to myself and “sleeping it off”.

I try to remind myself that we all get our chance to die and that snuffing yourself out early doesn’t win you any bonus points. But it’s lonely, desolate and mentally draining. I hope I can learn something from here and have it stick.

[OneLove92]

Wow I am almost exactly the same way. You can always PM me an chat if you need/wan to?

Another friend wouldnt hurt.

[FMLAMAN]

You feelings overall sound pretty consistent with mine and that of any person with clinical Depression. I also have great frustration when I try to explain to others what it feels like to suffer this condition. I don't do that much anymore except on this forum where people know exactly what it feels like. Then with others I try not to get angry because they really have no way or ability to understand what it feels like.

[Fizzyo]

[Fuzzybear]