Overall, I would say I generally came from a 'good home' and that my family was overall quite good to me. They did a lot for me, helping me with my studies, helping me with going to college, and have always been there for me when I needed them. Although maybe at times they could be a bit ornery, they were not abusive or mean people. However, there was one night, and I truly mean one night when I came home and it was like I was in a different house and this honestly had a lasting impact on me. I am not saying it was the 'cause' of my problems in any way but obviously it didn't help.

I basically came home one day, after a party with my nephew and his friends and I will admit I said some things that were a bit of a bad influence. My nephews were a lot younger but one of them had some relatively young friends and I sent some not so good messages about how to treat women. I was only 15 at the time and my nephews were a couple years younger. I admitted this and admitted I was wrong when I came home. My father seemed to accept the apology, but my mother was furious and I mean furious. It really didn't even feel like I was seen as family anymore. I called her mom and she said, "don't call me that." It really seemed like I wasn't really even family anymore. They just screamed at me for hours and told me how I was a monster and a horrible person and that I would never amount to anything. Basically, to them, I was just a horrible, degenerate person they said. They also said they wouldn't try with me anymore and that I was hopeless. Then, after I went half asleep in bed for a few hours it was like 3 am and I hear this blasting hip hop song from downstairs. This just seemed strange and then they kept playing like the first 10 seconds of this song like 3 times. I eventually came down and they said how they didn't like the music I was listening to but eventually I kind of reasoned with them.

The next day, the tune immediately changed and they were not mad at me at all anymore. After this, everything went back to the same and they didn't disown me and deny ever having had any intention of doing so. After this, they have always continued to be the same loving, supportive family that they always have been and never before or since has there been anything like this. However, I have to admit that after that one night, I just wasn't ever really 100% over it. I have always thought about it from time to time and it would make me anxious and somewhat physically sick whenever I would think about it. I still love my parents, but this event really did have somewhat of an impact on me that has lasted for years. Essentially, my question is, am I justified to feel that this had an effect on me? My family always downplays the effect that this incident could have had when I bring it up and although they admit they were wrong, they seem to think I am blowing out of proportion and that their behavior on one night shouldn't have any lasting impact on someone.

[Rohag]

I'm not sure it is helpful to bring "justification" into the picture in trying to understand what has happened. This incident did have a lasting effect on you whether or not any believes it should have had such an effect.

To gain insight into what happened I suspect you need to get to the roots of your mother's reactions on that night. What were behind the words she said to you? What's in her biography you don't know?