I feel like dead

yunomi · Feb 17, 2015 at 01:26 PM

Have you ever laid on your bed and just cried? Cried because your family is dysfunctional and never understand you?
I feel so depressed now, i feel stuck in this hell and don't know what to do anymore with my life... my world is crushing down..my dreams are dead..

I've bottled up everything around family and friends. With pressures from anything around me, I've lost motivation to do anything. I feel depressed and can't express how i feel either. The feeling of emptiness, the feeling that barely anyone is there for me. And it seems like there's nothing to look forward anymore..

sherbet · Feb 17, 2015 at 10:20 PM

I felt that way before. My situation changed and it got better.

Feb 17, 2015 at 11:58 PM

I've felt this way much of my life, but I did find hope sometimes. I think a break will come, I know that doesn't help right now, but I believe there will be a good day coming for you. Please try to open up to someone, keeping it all inside does not help. I know because I did this, for many years as a child and young adult, and now I know that no one understands what I was going through, so they still don't get the depression and how tired I am of dealing with it as a middle aged person. Some people wont ever get it, but I hope you feel comfortable talking here, and can reach out also for some professional help?

yunomi · Feb 18, 2015 at 01:53 AM

Yes i did try to open up to some people before, hoping it would make me better but it in fact made me feel even worse. They simply responded such as "no, you think too much", "you're just overreacting, deal with it", "why are you like this? don't be like that", "it could be worse" without knowing why and how bad i was feeling.
It made me feel stupid, i've always had a feeling such as "no, what's the point of telling them? seems like they won't understand.." before i try to tell anyone about my stories, and mostly that feeling is always true

Now i only open up to my 2 close friends who have been through similar situation and exactly understand. But still it makes no chance to my situation. I did talk to psychologists before but the result was disappointing. So i have constant fear to open up, a fear that anything will touch my wounds again
I'm so tired..

Feb 18, 2015 at 07:05 PM

I'm sorry to hear your pain, you're tired and your fear of getting hurt again. I'm glad you have 2 friends, but I understand it doesn't change the pain. It does help to come here and talk with us, I've been finding it quite helpful that we can just say what is on our minds and get some encouragement, or just realize we aren't alone in how we feel. No most people don't seem to understand it, and it hurts knowing that. I wish you had some help from the psychologist, I hope you can try another or a psychiatrist, counselor? Not saying that is the only answer, just trying to think of ways to help. I know others can influence how we feel, I've felt a fool and stupid at times... but remember having this mental illness is enough of a struggle, try not to let others make you feel bad, because they just don't understand and can't feel your pain.

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sherbet Member Member Since Dec 2014 Location: New England Posts: 127 9 166 hugs given	Feb 17, 2015 at 10:20 PM #2 I felt that way before. My situation changed and it got better.
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