[Lildevil262626]

This is my first post guys! I have never been apart of a forum or anything, and I am quite the explainer when it comes to telling things, so bear(bare?) with me here!(: Basically, lately I have been feeling pretty depressed. I remember in high school (now 22yo) Feelong this way but I don't think I understood what was happening then, my life has always been a bit...foggy.
Anyways, I just recently lost my job and after spending a year working countless over time hours I decided that I would hold off on the job search for about a week or two just to relax.
Bad move.
I am looking for work, but I do this from bed. I don't leave the house. Maybe 5 times a week for an hour or two. Other than that I am in bed with the lights and tv (most of the time) off. My appetite goes from virtually non existent to uncontrollable hunger. (My bmi is below where it should be). I feel stuck. Trapped in a life I have no interest in continuing. Nor do I have a real interest in ending it, though.
Being somewhat new to my city now, and not having many ties to friends from the old place, makes me feel lonely. I live with my boyfriend of a little less than a year (I know I know stupid move) and he is one of those...'suck it up why do you do this to yourself you ****ing crazy person' people. He's never actually said any of those things to me or anyone directly, but I've picked it up and have since decided I'm not going to share how I'm feeling because he just won't get it ( we are discussing going our separate ways, too, so I don't feel the need to tell him how I feel)
So! I scheduled an appointment for a psychiatric evaluation and 'Bi Polar disorder', 'psychotic disorder' and 'BPD' were all written at the top of her notes. And she then scheduled an appointment with a therapist, who I saw three weeks later and I guess it just doesn't seem like it will work. They put me with a child/family therapist which I kind of understand seeing as 22 is considered a baby in some cases. But she didn't seem to confront anything directly. She just stared at me until I said something or asked questions that seemed irrelevant.
If I have some sort of mental disorder I would like it to be addressed so I can't get started on feeling like a normal person. Should I say something? Should I wait? Should I ask for someone else? I've had one session and another on Friday, and an appointment with a psychologist ( to see if meds are necessary ) on Thursday.

Thanks guys, especially if you made it through this whole thing!

[pinkflower17]

Originally Posted by Lildevil262626

This is my first post guys! I have never been apart of a forum or anything, and I am quite the explainer when it comes to telling things, so bear(bare?) with me here!(: Basically, lately I have been feeling pretty depressed. I remember in high school (now 22yo) Feelong this way but I don't think I understood what was happening then, my life has always been a bit...foggy.
Anyways, I just recently lost my job and after spending a year working countless over time hours I decided that I would hold off on the job search for about a week or two just to relax.
Bad move.
I am looking for work, but I do this from bed. I don't leave the house. Maybe 5 times a week for an hour or two. Other than that I am in bed with the lights and tv (most of the time) off. My appetite goes from virtually non existent to uncontrollable hunger. (My bmi is below where it should be). I feel stuck. Trapped in a life I have no interest in continuing. Nor do I have a real interest in ending it, though.
Being somewhat new to my city now, and not having many ties to friends from the old place, makes me feel lonely. I live with my boyfriend of a little less than a year (I know I know stupid move) and he is one of those...'suck it up why do you do this to yourself you ****ing crazy person' people. He's never actually said any of those things to me or anyone directly, but I've picked it up and have since decided I'm not going to share how I'm feeling because he just won't get it ( we are discussing going our separate ways, too, so I don't feel the need to tell him how I feel)
So! I scheduled an appointment for a psychiatric evaluation and 'Bi Polar disorder', 'psychotic disorder' and 'BPD' were all written at the top of her notes. And she then scheduled an appointment with a therapist, who I saw three weeks later and I guess it just doesn't seem like it will work. They put me with a child/family therapist which I kind of understand seeing as 22 is considered a baby in some cases. But she didn't seem to confront anything directly. She just stared at me until I said something or asked questions that seemed irrelevant.
If I have some sort of mental disorder I would like it to be addressed so I can't get started on feeling like a normal person. Should I say something? Should I wait? Should I ask for someone else? I've had one session and another on Friday, and an appointment with a psychologist ( to see if meds are necessary ) on Thursday.

Thanks guys, especially if you made it through this whole thing!

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. It's so hard to pull yourself out of that place once you get stuck in it. The only thing that's ever worked for me is setting small, very small, reasonable goals and writing them down everyday or close to and then really working on reaching those small goals. Even if it starts with 1) get up out of bed 2) take a shower 3) work on job stuff or cleaning or something for 15 min. etc. Baby steps and eventually things get a little easier. I'm sorry your boyfriend isn't more important. My ex-fiancé and my entire family have the same general attitude regarding mental health issues, so I can definitely relate there.
One appt is pretty quick to make new diagnosis of bipolar disorder or psychotic depression or borderline personality disorder. Not saying don't go back or anything, but I'd be cautious if they try to immediately pin a diagnosis on you, unless you have a very obvious history of mania alternating with depressive episodes or something like that.
I've had therapists who behaved similarly before and for me it didn't work well, I need someone with a little more initiative. Family/child therapist or not, it sounds like it could just not be a good fit. I'd give it maybe another session and if things don't improve, start looking for someone else. Don't waste your time with someone who doesn't work. And I think 22 is old enough for an adult therapist, unless you have some specific issues they think would best be addressed with a child psychologist. Most medical professionals consider 17-21 "adolescents", but older than that are treated as adults.
Good luck. Hope your next appt goes well.

[Keyslost]

Pink has some good advice there imo. If you do find a job that has helped me before. Gets me motivated/meet people/gives me purpose. Sounded like your bf and you are splitting? Sorry to hear that come talk to us if you need to everyone here is awesome and has good ears (eyes) . I think you're normal Hope this helps

[Lildevil262626]

Originally Posted by pinkflower17

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. It's so hard to pull yourself out of that place once you get stuck in it. The only thing that's ever worked for me is setting small, very small, reasonable goals and writing them down everyday or close to and then really working on reaching those small goals. Even if it starts with 1) get up out of bed 2) take a shower 3) work on job stuff or cleaning or something for 15 min. etc. Baby steps and eventually things get a little easier. I'm sorry your boyfriend isn't more important. My ex-fiancé and my entire family have the same general attitude regarding mental health issues, so I can definitely relate there.
One appt is pretty quick to make new diagnosis of bipolar disorder or psychotic depression or borderline personality disorder. Not saying don't go back or anything, but I'd be cautious if they try to immediately pin a diagnosis on you, unless you have a very obvious history of mania alternating with depressive episodes or something like that.
I've had therapists who behaved similarly before and for me it didn't work well, I need someone with a little more initiative. Family/child therapist or not, it sounds like it could just not be a good fit. I'd give it maybe another session and if things don't improve, start looking for someone else. Don't waste your time with someone who doesn't work. And I think 22 is old enough for an adult therapist, unless you have some specific issues they think would best be addressed with a child psychologist. Most medical professionals consider 17-21 "adolescents", but older than that are treated as adults.
Good luck. Hope your next appt goes well.

Sorry! I wasn't diagnosed, more the first woman I spoke with asked me about symptoms and problems and wrote those three down as a possibility, I think so that when they appointed me a therapist, they would have things to look out for? I assumed.
I will see how these next couple sessions go and see how I feel, I think I will need someone more aggressive as well.

I will try maybe writing some things down. I wouldn't know where to start. I shower, a lot, I use it as an escape kind of. Cleaning helps me relax. So maybe writing them down will feel like more of an accomplishment than just doing it out of boredom or due to stress.
Thank you for your reply!(:

[Lildevil262626]

Originally Posted by Keyslost

Pink has some good advice there imo. If you do find a job that has helped me before. Gets me motivated/meet people/gives me purpose. Sounded like your bf and you are splitting? Sorry to hear that come talk to us if you need to everyone here is awesome and has good ears (eyes) . I think you're normal Hope this helps

Thanks! I have seen nothing but support from what I have read, so I definitely feel welcome(:
Yes when I get a job I know I will feel much better! It's still hard but it forces me out of the house and to communicate with the world ha!

[pinkflower17]

Originally Posted by Lildevil262626

Sorry! I wasn't diagnosed, more the first woman I spoke with asked me about symptoms and problems and wrote those three down as a possibility, I think so that when they appointed me a therapist, they would have things to look out for? I assumed.
I will see how these next couple sessions go and see how I feel, I think I will need someone more aggressive as well.

I will try maybe writing some things down. I wouldn't know where to start. I shower, a lot, I use it as an escape kind of. Cleaning helps me relax. So maybe writing them down will feel like more of an accomplishment than just doing it out of boredom or due to stress.
Thank you for your reply!(:

Can you maybe try volunteering for a couple hours a week in the meantime? Some places, like most soup kitchens for example don't require any more commitment than that day. I was out of work for a year after getting meningitis and infections in various parts of my spine and brain. I started off volunteering and slowly kind of eased back into working again. I recognize our situations are different, but volunteering might at least get you around some people, give you a reason to get up and out of the house and who knows? you may make some connections that lead to employment. Just an idea. I think your idea of actually writing it down is a good one. I always feel like I accomplished something when I can cross something off my to do list, even if it's something I needed to do anyway. What also helped me was trying to form some kind of schedule, i.e. eating at specific times, cleaning at specific times every day, going to say the library a certain day, starbucks to work on job stuff another, going to the park to work out one day, running in my neighborhood the next etc. Don't know if any of this helps you, but that's what seemed to help me kind of get back into the swing of things. And I'm not completely there yet. II still have to do a lot of these things daily. 'm only working part time, but I'm starting to look for full time employment after I take care of some health issues so I guess it's moving in a positive direction...