[FMLAMAN]

I had to take FMLA leave at work. Been there 7 years and somehow got thru my last med change 3 years ago with just burning up my vacation days. Not this time around. I'm in the process of tapering off Parnate because after 4 years even MAOI in high dosage is failing. It's been Hell managing to hide my illness at work for 7 years, but the cats out of the bag now. God willing I can return in 12 weeks, but when I do everyone at work will brand me a freak because their ignorant. They will surely put 2 & 2 together when they see I've no physical injury. One other person at work years ago had to do the same as me and when she was out of the office everyone said awful things about her. I would stick up for her, but at my company one must be careful or be branded themselves. Plus I'm a man so the Lions at work will be sure to shred me apart. Strange... I always could sense this woman suffered my illness long before her leave. She would hide hers like I do, but only I could see it. Takes one to spot one I guess. 25 years and endless med failures. I've become so resistant to every class of known meds that I may have no option left except ECT. That really scares the Hell out of me. My Psych doc is great, but even he's sort of stuck on med options for me. Going back to ones that used to work has no response even years later so not sure what to try now. I feel out of options.

[vital]

Originally Posted by FMLAMAN

I had to take FMLA leave at work. Been there 7 years and somehow got thru my last med change 3 years ago with just burning up my vacation days. Not this time around. I'm in the process of tapering off Parnate because after 4 years even MAOI in high dosage is failing. It's been Hell managing to hide my illness at work for 7 years, but the cats out of the bag now. God willing I can return in 12 weeks, but when I do everyone at work will brand me a freak because their ignorant. They will surely put 2 & 2 together when they see I've no physical injury. One other person at work years ago had to do the same as me and when she was out of the office everyone said awful things about her. I would stick up for her, but at my company one must be careful or be branded themselves. Plus I'm a man so the Lions at work will be sure to shred me apart. Strange... I always could sense this woman suffered my illness long before her leave. She would hide hers like I do, but only I could see it. Takes one to spot one I guess. 25 years and endless med failures. I've become so resistant to every class of known meds that I may have no option left except ECT. That really scares the Hell out of me. My Psych doc is great, but even he's sort of stuck on med options for me. Going back to ones that used to work has no response even years later so not sure what to try now. I feel out of options.

Hi FMLAMAN,

It sounds like you're in a tough spot. You might be surprised that people are more understanding about depression these days. It's much less stigmatized than schizophrenia at least.

ECT would really scare me too. In case you see an option that you haven't tried, here's my best estimate at the optimal plan for depression:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

- vital

[Apathy123]

When I had to take a week or two off in the fall to go into the hospital and recover before coming back to work I wasn't sure how to handle it either. I ended up telling most people I had the flu and then eventually told some people the truth and they were supportive and accepting of me.

[i dont matter]

sorry to hear you are struggling over this.

I am kinda in the same boat. And part of me wonders if I would be better off being BOLD about my issues.

I am James and I have endured mental health issues. It has been a battle, but here I am - standing, fighting, surviving.

I realize that a large percentage of people will never understand. But, I wonder if there is a percentage of people out there who I could help. People who are too afraid to seek help and afraid of the stigma. I / you could be saving other people by speaking up.

Just a thought.

[Fuzzybear]

[raspberrytorte]

Do you have a coworker you trust who you could tell why you're taking time off, and then have that person make up some excuse for why you're on leave? When I was inpatient I texted a coworker I trusted and told her what happened, and before I went back to work she made up a reason for why I was gone so no one would ask me questions when I got back.

Do they all really know why you're taking your leave of absence? Maybe they don't know. Unless you told them?

I'm not sure how a leave of absence like that works. Do you have to explain to your work why exactly?

It makes me sad you're dealing with this and that the meds aren't working. I hope you feel better soon. Everything will work out in the end.

Hugs.