[hpocus]

I was accused of being angry that I can't control my world and letting it spread to the point that I'm angry at all people, and of hiding behind my diagnosis.

I'm kind of in shock.

It shores up everything, again, that I think of myself. What I think of as kindness is received as if it's a slap in the face.

I'm such a burden and I'm so horrible to people, no matter what I do. Seriously, it's not fair that good decent people get killed in accidents all the time. If the world made any kind of sense it would take me out.

[Fuzzybear]

Oh nice . Who said this?

I don't know of anyone who would choose to have a MH dx (or a buncha them...)

Peace to you

[Fuzzybear]

PS it sounds like this "person" who accused you is "all heart" .... Not!

Even if their words may have a grain of "truth" in them, anyone of "normal" intelligence, IMO, should have the Ability To Speak With Kindness and Compassion.

[hpocus]

I'm sure it was meant to be helpful. I mean, I'd love it if I could shrug off my PD. People don't get it, at all. Especially the "google avies" who put in a list of their latest grievances and "self-diagnose." It pervades and limits everything, affects every aspect of your life, absolutely everything is colored by it. They just don't understand how huge it really is.

I know lots of people who wish they had a PD. On the forum I'd say more than half the people there are self-diagnosed. I think it makes them feel special, "my emotions are stronger than normal people's" or something, so they get to wear a nifty "dx" hat.

It never amazes me how many people want the alphabet soup, 16 different diagnoses to list after their names. Maybe it makes them feel like they're on the level with the pros they see, who list their degree designation after their name.

Personally, one is enough, especially when it causes other major problems. I would so much rather have one thing to work with, to know the root cause, and know that if I can loosen that knot all the rest of my issues will ease up, too.

You think this is the simmering anger I was accused of? The thing is, I really wish everyone could get better, or I would never try to speak to anyone. As far as the people who self-label, they are limiting themselves, especially if they pin on something with no cure. That frustrates me, and makes me sad.

Also - hint to the world - when avoidant people get angry, 99% of the time it's actually fear that they are expressing. Oops, giving away trade secrets.

The most annoying thing about the accusation was the undercurrent that I'm not allowed to have feelings at all. I have no right to them, good, bad, appropriate, or not. You know, because I'm not human, I guess. That goes right back to my childhood abuse. My mother insists to this day that I'm "not allowed" to be tired. Ever. I guess because I'm not alive or something. Very triggering to be called out in such a way, with such mean-spirited implications. Very much makes me feel like I have no right to exist.