[pinkbutterfly]

Hey everyone...it's been a while since I've been on here. Life has been super busy. but...the depression never left. Seemed to hide in the shadows a bit, until about a month or two ago. It's back with a vengeance. I feel so lost. so alone.
I feel so small and so insignificant.

I know you can relate to some of these feelings -- unfortunately.
I just don't know how to get through all of this.
(I am not suicidal or anything - just feeling like there's no hope of this going away or getting better).

It's like I saw this little promise for a "normal-ish" life. and it's been swept away. I have a hard time believing it exists for me. That somehow I will be forever cursed with this depressive state that will always hold me down and hold me back from really knowing what it's like to LIVE.

I hate feeling so alone...I'm about to move to a place where I know no one -- no therapist (may not be able to see one for a while because I may be losing my insurance)...

Oh...and the great thing is...I work in the mental health field. which I feel totally unqualified to do at all at this point.

thanks for listening

[meganb22]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time I know how you feel. I wish I had some good advice to make you feel better, but I'm kinda in the same boat you are. What's frustrating to me is every time my depression gets better and I feel good and hopeful- it always comes back again and crushes those hopes. It's a crappy cycle.

I hope you feel better

[pinkbutterfly]

Originally Posted by meganb22

I'm sorry you're having a tough time I know how you feel. I wish I had some good advice to make you feel better, but I'm kinda in the same boat you are. What's frustrating to me is every time my depression gets better and I feel good and hopeful- it always comes back again and crushes those hopes. It's a crappy cycle.

I hope you feel better

Thanks Megan. I am stuck in Florida...not at home, not able to enjoy anyhting. I have absolutely no motivation or interest in anything.
I bought a couple little shots of liquor...I just want to not feel for a while. I have debated if I should reach out to my EMDR therapist. She said I could call her cell if I needed to...just not sure what I would say though.

[Fizzyo]

[HelenasMaiden]

Originally Posted by pinkbutterfly

Hey everyone...it's been a while since I've been on here. Life has been super busy. but...the depression never left. Seemed to hide in the shadows a bit, until about a month or two ago. It's back with a vengeance. I feel so lost. so alone.
I feel so small and so insignificant.

I know you can relate to some of these feelings -- unfortunately.
I just don't know how to get through all of this.
(I am not suicidal or anything - just feeling like there's no hope of this going away or getting better).

It's like I saw this little promise for a "normal-ish" life. and it's been swept away. I have a hard time believing it exists for me. That somehow I will be forever cursed with this depressive state that will always hold me down and hold me back from really knowing what it's like to LIVE.

I hate feeling so alone...I'm about to move to a place where I know no one -- no therapist (may not be able to see one for a while because I may be losing my insurance)...

Oh...and the great thing is...I work in the mental health field. which I feel totally unqualified to do at all at this point.

thanks for listening

Unfortunately, I do relate to everything that you've said. It might seem hard to believe that these feelings will go away someday but believe me, they will. It takes time and a lot of ups and downs but things can and will get better. I'm sorry that you're about to move to a different place - change can sometimes be hard, especially when you have depression. Don't let that hold you back. I'm here if you need anything.

[pinkbutterfly]

Thank you for the support. It's so hard feeling all alone in all of this.

[HelenasMaiden]

Originally Posted by pinkbutterfly

Thank you for the support. It's so hard feeling all alone in all of this.

I know that it's hard but you're not alone. And if you need a friend, you can always message me.

[robcalher]

Same here, every time I think I'm getting better, it all comes back again. Also recently lost my insurance (Medicaid), cuz I moved and it sucks!! I hope your depression alleviates soon. So you're in Florida too? That is where I just relocated to.