[spiker22]

What can I do?
Depression is so bad I have a hard time lifting my head. My spouse has been fighting cancer for 2 years, not looking too good. I've made a good living, even though with "good " medical insurance I still pay about 33K a year for her treatment. I now have a condition that will allow me to live 18 months at best, and have declined continued treatment as my wife has a better chance to survive, as we cannot afford both treatments. I feel I have a responsibility to continue work however long I can in the hopes that she can survive. As for me, I have spent most of my life in the medical field, caring for others. Without treatment, it will be a slow painful process.

Possible trigger:

If I take my own life,

I basically end hers as she will probably have to find alternate means of medical care.

Possible trigger:

For me, ending my own life before dementia and pain seems most appropriate,

then I can hope for the best when it comes to her medical care. I have lots of life insurance, but it does little good until your gone. I think I'm writing this to myself hoping I'll see an answer I had not considered. Thanks for allowing me to use your room as a sounding wall.

[Fizzyo]

Thank you for posting, sound of as much as you like, even though there are no answers we can offer, we're listening

[BBB2]

I'm sorry you're facing this.
You're very brave to keep going for your wife and others

Could you use social media to ask for donations? People do often with success I hear. Is there anyone who could help you do this?

Please keep posting. We may not understand well (you're in a very lonely situation) but we will listen.