can't do it anymore

sorry tried to delete. realized it was just verbal diarrhea.

Disparaissant, only when you are ready, what is the "it" you feel you can't do any more?

I feel the same way.

Life is the "it". Same old everyday. Fighting to get what needs doing done, just having no desire to do things anymore. Knowing my son deserves a better life, if I had made better choices, hadn't been so down and depressed, he would be doing better in school. Maybe if I had been stronger, my ex wouldn't have become abusive, because I would have been lovable. He saw me as weak and pathetic, still does.

If I had tried harder. If my health was better. Maybe I should have taken better care of my physical body. Not sure that would have changed getting an autoimmune disease though.

If only I could wake up one day without the thought "I can't do this anymore". If I could have a restful sleep and feel like my brain has taken a break. Then I'd feel more like I could keep going. It would also be great to not be picked apart by my ex anymore.

Thanks Rohag, and everyone for listening and the hugs.



I need to stop whining and just do what I need to, and show my son that things will be okay, be strong for him.

Angels on your pillows disparaissant. - vital

it takes time disparaissant . one day at a time

(((((disparaissant)))))

I'm very thankful for people like you that just take some time to let me know I'm thought of.

I think that's why I've stuck around so long. I have so little interaction with people. It comes to mind another post said that this is not the same thing as life, not as good, but in a way I find it is even better. I have found much comfort here and hope to help someone too.

Didn't sleep all night, but I know I will tonight. Ex decided to try and chop away at what there is left of me last night, and when that wasn't good enough, the texts started coming in from his girlfriend. She decided somehow she knows me and what my faults are and somehow I should be feeling guilty.... it was just rotten. People should not judge, I don't judge her and I've never met her. She is basing everything on a liars words. I promised I wouldn't let it get to me but it did, but I will let it go somehow tonight. They are not worth this pain anymore.

I hope whoever reads this will have things get better for them.

Hi disparaissant, I wish I could change things for you, but I will send hugs to you. Try not to listen to the stupid ex and his girlfriend. People who are abusive will do all sorts of things to try and bring you down. They love to judge you and give you the "guilt trip". You have done your best and don't forget that. You are a good person.

Hey Disparaissant! I hope your are doing okay today.

I'm actually crying right now after reading your post. Not because it made me sad, but because it reminds me so much of my mom.

I wish I could have known at a younger age what she fighting. How much pain she was in. How strong she was.
But as a child, you don't understand fully what someone is going through. It wasn't until I was around 23 or so that she finally let me in. She had told me about how she had been suicidal for years. About her abuse as a child and the emotional scars my abusive father had left.

I want so bad to hug you and tell you all of the things that I told her!

You are beautiful. Inside and out.
You are strong.
You are wise.
YOU ARE WORTH WHILE!

I always dreaded the day when my mom would no longer be with me. And unfortunately that day came last year. I was absolutely devastated! I still am. And always will be. Just like your son would be if he lost you.

No one ever deserves to be torn down the way your ex is tearing you down. But please know that his words, his actions, are a reflection of him! Not you!
Because remember... you are beautiful, strong, wise and 100% worth while!

Thank you so much for this Kaylord, you are very strong and wise yourself

I'm sorry about your mom. It does make me think, and you touched my heart. I will do the best I can for my son. I hope things get better and better for you. It was so kind of you to share this with me.
I am doing better. With time I'm learning a bit everyday how to let go sooner of the things that hurt. thank you again

You are so welcome!

Not only does your son deserve a happy momma, but you yourself deserve to be happy! I know it's hard to look at yourself and see everything that you have accomplished, but it is not impossible.

Love yourself! Respect yourself! And don't let that a**hole win. Don't grant him that much power. Prove him wrong and rub his stupid face in it, haha.