[connect.the.stars]

I’m sleepy. And I’m sad. I feel like I can’t talk to people. Well I can. But I can’t talk about certain things. I can’t talk about my unhappy things. I can’t complain about work unnecessarily. I can’t tell people how empty I feel. I can’t tell them I want to fail all my tests. I can’t tell them I don’t want to try anymore. I can’t tell them how there are days I don’t even want to get up. I can’t be sad. I can’t disappoint anyone. I can’t not try to help someone. I can’t say I won’t listen to someone because they will think that I don’t care. I can’t turn anyone away. I can’t say no. I can’t make someone else feel bad. I can’t get angry at someone. I can’t say all this negative stuff. I can’t be unpleasant. I can’t say bad things about people. I can’t act superior to anyone. I can’t ask for all of their attention. I can’t say I don’t know why I am sad. I can’t explain why I wake up sad. I can’t explain why I have no appetite. I can’t explain why I am unwilling to make myself happy. Yet I act happy. I can’t be happy. But I can’t not be happy for other people. I can’t be depressed.

[waterknob1234]

Hi Connect the stars. This is a good safe place to express your feelings. We understand. It is hard for me to talk about my feelings with people in the regular world too. So go ahead and vent.

[Fizzyo]

You can post here. Thank you for sharing with us. I find I can share what can't be shared in the outside world. Welcome. Message me anytime.

[Fuzzybear]

[Fizzyo]

[Tauren]

Sounds like someone really went all-out in traning you to put other people first.

[Fizzyo]

Can you be a bit kind to yourself too. You deserve it as much as anyone else.

[connect.the.stars]

I think I just annoy everyone. I need to put a lid on it. It's not pleasant to talk about my problems and myself all the time. Who wants to be around someone who never stops complaining or saying she's sad. Like come on. No one wants to be around that. It's just so stressful they'd rather be with a happy and carefree person.

[SaraNoia]

I use the Therapist to let him know about my negative thoughts so in my head I can talk to people and ok...pretend to be positive. I am aware that everyone has their own problems but it's nice to know I have someone to rant to.

I hope you feel better soon.

[Tauren]

Yeah, I think the worst thing about depression is that no one wants to be around you. They even tell themselves that you probably want to be alone. Sometimes it's not as bad as you think though. Sometimes you reach out to people and find they are happy to hang out with you, they just thought you wouldn't want to because you're depressed.