Why does everything always go badly? I honestly thought I was over it this time.. But I dunno, everything feels all too familiar. The same thoughts, the same urges, the same low mood and lack of motivation to do anything. Just want to hide from the world. It would be quite nice to disappear altogether. I guess my meds have stopped working? Maybe they didn't ever work and it was just coincidence that I was feeling better. Or maybe I had just been keeping busy enough to fight off the miserableness, and now I'm slowing down I'm having time to think? I don't know. Whatever it is I don't like it. And I'm scared. Every time it seems to be worse than the last even when I don't think it's possible to get worse. I just wanted to be better. I thought I was better.

[vital]

Originally Posted by hiddensecret

Why does everything always go badly? I honestly thought I was over it this time.. But I dunno, everything feels all too familiar. The same thoughts, the same urges, the same low mood and lack of motivation to do anything. Just want to hide from the world. It would be quite nice to disappear altogether. I guess my meds have stopped working? Maybe they didn't ever work and it was just coincidence that I was feeling better. Or maybe I had just been keeping busy enough to fight off the miserableness, and now I'm slowing down I'm having time to think? I don't know. Whatever it is I don't like it. And I'm scared. Every time it seems to be worse than the last even when I don't think it's possible to get worse. I just wanted to be better. I thought I was better.

Hi hiddensecret,

I think I do know why things seem to go badly for you. I believe that it is exactly the same reason things used to go badly for me. See if this makes sense:

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

Here's also what I think is the best general plan:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

- vital

Sometimes I read a post and I feel compelled to offer a poem in response. I'm not sure if it's really a good idea, but:

Nothing Gold Can Stay by W.H. Auden

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

But spring returns the following year.

When I feel despair that my mood is slipping downward again (which it has started doing during the last month), I try to remind myself that it won't be forever.

I don't know if your mood change is related to the change of season, but unless you're on the equator, the days are rapidly growing either shorter or longer right now where you are. Both tend to cause depression to get worse in lots of people.

I have had my meds adjusted and have cut back my activity level a little and am trying to be sure that I don't skip meals. I'm viewing the next month or so as rough waters for my mood.

I hope that your mood blip won't last long. I just wanted to say, if you didn't know, that September-October and March-April are tough for people who are sensitive to the change in the length of daylight.

[Fizzyo]

[waterknob1234]

I believe that when I am busy I am less depressed and when I have too much time to think the depression takes over. I don't know if it works that way for you. Love and best wishes.

[Fuzzybear]

[TheOriginalMe]

How is your mood now? Has anything changed in the last few days?

My mood is still on the low side. But I'm managing it as best I can I guess. It's mainly during the night when I'm not sleeping that it all seems to catch up with me and I start struggling. October is generally always a bad month for me but I was kind of hoping I'd managed to get stable enough to get through it in one piece this year. I think I'm just more wary than usual and maybe I'm just overthinking everything. Having hit what I believe was the very bottom of bottom in the summer and getting through that to find stability and feel the best I have felt in a long time I'm anxious that I will just go right back to that dark place. I'm just about maintaining control at the moment, but it's not going to take much for me to lose that control.

[TheOriginalMe]

October gloom hit me hard especially as the weather changed from glorious sun to grey rain overnight just as I went back to work. Are you getting much support at the moment, talking to someone about your fears might give you a few coping strategies. It is really easy to think that once we get better we stop needing help but often that is when we need it the most.

[spring2014]

please talk to a counselor about it .my therapist gave me coping skills to deal with anxiety . it could be anxiety and depression combined . ask your psychiatrist to change your meds . here is my list of coping skills :
For High Anxiety
1) Physical activity
2) Deep breathing
3) Mindfulness box
4) Guided imagery
5) Progressive muscle relaxation exercises
6) Diversions and distractions
7) Counteracting thoughts
a. think positive
8) Relaxation techniques
9) Journaling
10) Mindfulness meditation
11) STOP technique for impulses









Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds: Cymbalta 90mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia