[Runs with the eagle]

Because of my mothers mental illness, my brothers called their dad to come and get them because they were tired of dealing with her and did not like being poor. I was in college at the time, and now it has been a year. I recently got in contact with my brothers, but they have changed, we were once so close and they don't even really want to talk to me. Their dad is rich, they have laptops, cellphones, videogames things my mom could never give. Yet, I thought love would prevail. I thought we were close, but apparently not.
Yesterday, I finally got in contact with my brother who is in high school texted me and was like I may talk to you but I am busy. I am so sad that they don't even feel comfortable talking to me as if I had no meaning in their lives. I always looked after them, took care of them, and we were so close. This is causing so much distress, I don't even know how to tell my mom.
I feel like no amount of medicine or therapy could help me. I feel so terrible like I am not good enough for them. My mom and I are black and my brothers are half biracial, it is almost as if they are disowning us because we don't money or anything, but we tried.
Do you have any suggestions to help my grieving.
I don't even want to talk to my brothers any more, because it is no use. But I am still grieving.

[nowhere46]

It sounds like you are really discouraged. The situation you described is hard. It sounds like the relationship you felt got pulled out from under you. But it has nothing to do with your worth and in no way minimizes your past relationship with your brothers. One thing you might consider is that it is normal for teenagers to pull away from family and become a little self absorbed as they try to become their own person. It may also be that dealing with your moms illness was not something that they could handle right now. Maybe they arent as attuned as you or as strong or as mature. Whatever the case, it has probably been hard for everyone. But especially for you it seems. But hang in there. Your relationship with your brothers is changing right now but it doesnt have to end. Your brothers will most likely mature with time. Try to take care of yourself, and try to navigate this transition as best you can. Remember what you had with them and continue to try to connect with your brothers in ways that work for you. Maybe in small ways with fewer expectations for now. Above all, be proud of who you were and who you are. Be good to you. Change is hard.

[nowhere46]

I dont know you or your family. What I said before is true, teenagers are difficult in the best situations and in your situation it may be more complicated. Its hard. I certainly dont want to minimize the loss and rejection you are feeling. Therapy could definitely be helpful. Having a safe place to talk with a person there to help can be an almost magical experience (and Ive been on both sides of the couch). When dealing with hard situations, its also important to do everything you can to work on yourself. Fight with all your strength to build your own life, explore your interest, nuture friendships, develop a support system... Do everything you can to validate, nuture, express, celebrate, you. Again, hang in there.

[Runs with the eagle]

Originally Posted by nowhere46

It sounds like you are really discouraged. The situation you described is hard. It sounds like the relationship you felt got pulled out from under you. But it has nothing to do with your worth and in no way minimizes your past relationship with your brothers. One thing you might consider is that it is normal for teenagers to pull away from family and become a little self absorbed as they try to become their own person. It may also be that dealing with your moms illness was not something that they could handle right now. Maybe they arent as attuned as you or as strong or as mature. Whatever the case, it has probably been hard for everyone. But especially for you it seems. But hang in there. Your relationship with your brothers is changing right now but it doesnt have to end. Your brothers will most likely mature with time. Try to take care of yourself, and try to navigate this transition as best you can. Remember what you had with them and continue to try to connect with your brothers in ways that work for you. Maybe in small ways with fewer expectations for now. Above all, be proud of who you were and who you are. Be good to you. Change is hard.

Thank You so much, this has helped me so much an encourages me to endure and keep working hard.

[Runs with the eagle]

Originally Posted by nowhere46

I dont know you or your family. What I said before is true, teenagers are difficult in the best situations and in your situation it may be more complicated. Its hard. I certainly dont want to minimize the loss and rejection you are feeling. Therapy could definitely be helpful. Having a safe place to talk with a person there to help can be an almost magical experience (and Ive been on both sides of the couch). When dealing with hard situations, its also important to do everything you can to work on yourself. Fight with all your strength to build your own life, explore your interest, nuture friendships, develop a support system... Do everything you can to validate, nuture, express, celebrate, you. Again, hang in there.

Thank You, your words are so encouraging, I realize my situation is hard but I am going to try my best to keep moving forward.