[xMandyRose]

Hi all. It's been a while since I've logged on. Had a pretty good period of time and felt I had a handle on things for the most part. Today I do not (and hopefully when I feel fine again, I'll still remember this wonderful forum )

So my problem today has got me wondering...

Do any of you experience something like this?

I started a class a while ago, and I had my doubts about whether it would be worth the cost or not. But I did it anyway. I've had fun the entire time, but still feel like it's not going to give me the level of education I want. I'm paying for the classes, but I never voiced this worry to my mother. I had a bad day last week, wasn't very confident at all and felt a bit discouraged. I recently mentioned these worries to my mother, as well as the worry that if I skipped this week...I may not be able to make myself go back.

She almost immediately started with the "don't do this, your father used to do this to me all the time.". Which she brings up A LOT. She says that out of nowhere we'll tell her about a part of us that's been worried, or discouraged, or upset, or sad, or whatever...and it'll seem like we feel like we've never been truly happy.

Sometimes that is true, sometimes it is not. But the point is, I'm diagnosed Anxiety and Depression. My father has had diagnoses of Anxiety, Depression, and Bipolar Disorder. She gets worried each time I start to feel depressed, or have this "sudden" reveal of unhappiness - that I might be Bipolar as well.

I get really upset each time she mentions this, because I assume it's normal to have moments like that?

I was wondering if any of you have had times where you look back and feel like some part of you has felt bad in some way...even though you had good times? There are parts of my life where I look back and feel like it was perfect. Then I'll look back at that same part of my life (from a few months or a year later) and feel like all I can remember is being secretly depressed at that same time. It's very confusing.

Anyway, kind of a vent...kind of a bunch of questions. Sorry about that.

Thanks for reading.

xMandy

[Clara22]

Hi MandyRose,
Thank you for sharing. Yes, I do. That is self-awareness to me and it means we are growing up and get to know ourselves better.

[newday2020]

It sounds like your mother doesn't do feelings.

Of course I have feelings.

Tell em to someone who accepts them......it's only human.

[avlady]

i'm sorry your mom doesn't see what she's doing to you. i guess she worries alot, i know i would if i had to deal with a husband who's bipolar, as i have it myself. i think she is just being overprotective for your sake. i hope you feel better good luck

Yes! I look back and realize I was a fool for having trusted people. They were disguised as people who pretended to "care" about me, when all they cared about was themselves. They wanted to become popular at my expense. It worked out for them but they destroyed me. Don't understand why people who claim they are intelligent have to stomp on someone else to feel better about themselves?