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Sparky!
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Trig Oct 28, 2015 at 06:03 PM
  #1
I've recently been diagnosed with depression with psychotic features. I don't know if I agree with the diagnosis. I don't know what to think at the moment. I've had episodes of depression before but this has felt really different. I've never been so scared before.

I don't really know how to explain properly. It isn't what I would have thought of as anything to do with psychosis. I occasionally hear things / feel things that other people don't but the real issue is difficult beliefs. I've become completely obsessed with hell and eternity and how I'm going to end up there and there is no way out, ever, it will have no end, and that scares me so much. I'm permanently terrified. I think I've committed an unforgivable sin, I'm scared that I've sold my soul to Satan and I'm under his influence now. A lot of the time, nothing seems really real compared to death and hell and eternity. I can't really bring myself to care about anything because why would anything matter compared to that?

I don't know how to explain everything properly. Talking about things and trying to explain is difficult. Talking about some things seems wrong, and I'm too scared.

Medication seems to be starting to help a bit and I'm trying to start doing some of the things that have helped when I've been depressed in the past. Everyone keeps telling me that this is a mental health issue and I will get through it. I'm trying to believe that. I don't know if I do though.

I just wondered if anyone could relate. I do feel low but mostly I am just so, so scared all the time, I would swap this for the kind of depression I usually experience in a heartbeat. Has anyone felt like this and got through it? Is it possible to feel better?

I just need a bit of encouragement to keep going.

Last edited by bluekoi; Oct 28, 2015 at 08:27 PM.. Reason: Add trigger icon.
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vital
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Default Oct 28, 2015 at 09:00 PM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparky! View Post
I've recently been diagnosed with depression with psychotic features. I don't know if I agree with the diagnosis. I don't know what to think at the moment. I've had episodes of depression before but this has felt really different. I've never been so scared before.

I don't really know how to explain properly. It isn't what I would have thought of as anything to do with psychosis. I occasionally hear things / feel things that other people don't but the real issue is difficult beliefs. I've become completely obsessed with hell and eternity and how I'm going to end up there and there is no way out, ever, it will have no end, and that scares me so much. I'm permanently terrified. I think I've committed an unforgivable sin, I'm scared that I've sold my soul to Satan and I'm under his influence now. A lot of the time, nothing seems really real compared to death and hell and eternity. I can't really bring myself to care about anything because why would anything matter compared to that?

I don't know how to explain everything properly. Talking about things and trying to explain is difficult. Talking about some things seems wrong, and I'm too scared.

Medication seems to be starting to help a bit and I'm trying to start doing some of the things that have helped when I've been depressed in the past. Everyone keeps telling me that this is a mental health issue and I will get through it. I'm trying to believe that. I don't know if I do though.

I just wondered if anyone could relate. I do feel low but mostly I am just so, so scared all the time, I would swap this for the kind of depression I usually experience in a heartbeat. Has anyone felt like this and got through it? Is it possible to feel better?

I just need a bit of encouragement to keep going.
Hi Sparky,

To my surprise, I recently found out that 9% of the UK population hears voices, and for most, it's not a big deal or a problem. I can imagine that it can be very frightening if you don't know what's going on, but it's not that unusual or necessarily a big problem.

Hang in there, keep going and let us know how you're doing! For the depression, you can find my stuff in the "success stories" section. I always suggest for people to check with a good MD for the surprisingly large variety of physical or nutritional problems that can mainly show up as mental problems.

- vital

Last edited by sabby; Oct 29, 2015 at 08:02 PM.. Reason: Administrative edit
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Default Oct 28, 2015 at 11:04 PM
  #3
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Originally Posted by Sparky! View Post
I've recently been diagnosed with depression with psychotic features. I don't know if I agree with the diagnosis. I don't know what to think at the moment. I've had episodes of depression before but this has felt really different. I've never been so scared before.

I don't really know how to explain properly. It isn't what I would have thought of as anything to do with psychosis. I occasionally hear things / feel things that other people don't but the real issue is difficult beliefs. I've become completely obsessed with hell and eternity and how I'm going to end up there and there is no way out, ever, it will have no end, and that scares me so much. I'm permanently terrified. I think I've committed an unforgivable sin, I'm scared that I've sold my soul to Satan and I'm under his influence now. A lot of the time, nothing seems really real compared to death and hell and eternity. I can't really bring myself to care about anything because why would anything matter compared to that?

I don't know how to explain everything properly. Talking about things and trying to explain is difficult. Talking about some things seems wrong, and I'm too scared.

Medication seems to be starting to help a bit and I'm trying to start doing some of the things that have helped when I've been depressed in the past. Everyone keeps telling me that this is a mental health issue and I will get through it. I'm trying to believe that. I don't know if I do though.

I just wondered if anyone could relate. I do feel low but mostly I am just so, so scared all the time, I would swap this for the kind of depression I usually experience in a heartbeat. Has anyone felt like this and got through it? Is it possible to feel better?

I just need a bit of encouragement to keep going.
I have been diagnosed with that too and i too am not sure i believe it. I also have an issue with hell and satan but i will not say too much about my self other than i feel very similarly.
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Default Oct 29, 2015 at 02:57 PM
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Sparky!
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Default Oct 30, 2015 at 05:31 PM
  #5
Thank you for the replies and hugs, I appreciate it.

Eden, I'm sorry you can relate, because it's awful, but I'm glad it's not just me.
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Default Oct 31, 2015 at 11:07 AM
  #6
Hi Sparky
I am having the same problem, I feel like I am doomed and I will never get into heaven, I am in a constant state of fear, I cannot find any joy. I cannot find comfort in anything.
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Default Oct 31, 2015 at 02:16 PM
  #7
i have had the same problem i was hearing and seing things all the time got so bad i had to go and see my doc he sent me to the mental health team they put me on meds and gave me things to do ect psychosis can be very scary and hard to treat mine still has not gone away after 4 years of suffering but hang in thier and see your doc
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Sparky!
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Default Nov 02, 2015 at 06:52 PM
  #8
Thank you. I'm really sorry to hear that you guys are going through similar things. It's awful, and I hope that you find something that helps.

I am really very fortunate with the support I have at the moment.

Things are better than they were, in some ways. It's still so difficult though, and I still can't imagine ever getting back to 'normal'. I can't see how it's possible to go from being this scared to get back to how I used to be. It all just still feels very hopeless. I'm trying to believe that it's possible to get through it, but most of the time I don't really.
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Default Nov 03, 2015 at 12:22 PM
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They say I'm psychotic. I disagree.
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Default Nov 03, 2015 at 03:03 PM
  #10
What could you have done that would be so bad you'd deserve to go to hell?
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