[puzzclar]

What's so important about connection? I just don't understand. I know its important.... But why?

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[alieninshadows]

Are you talking about a connection like in meeting people?

[puzzclar]

That's correct

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I don't understand it either. Even more worrying, I don't even find it to be important to my life.

I don't feel the need to "connect" to people. Maybe when I was a child, but something might've happened and then I kind of "flipped a switch" and went into "I don't give a banana" mode...

To "connect", you have to "open up". And I just don't want to do that. Maybe I'm afraid to be hurt, used, manipulated... or maybe I'm so settled in my own old ways, and I no longer know how to connect.

Sorry for hijacking your post, by the way. That's an interesting question and I couldn't resist replying to it.

[alieninshadows]

I feel that way at work. I compare myself to a cat. If I want to be around people I'll approach them. If I don't then I'll avoid them. I rarely like to talk to anyone about my personal life and I chalk that up to the fact there are nosy people there that have asked me questions or tried bringing me into conversations that are way too inappropriately personal. Or this one lady like to just go up to you and offer a card to the hair salon she goes to and tells you what you can do differently. Basically saying your hair sucks, or she will talk about your weight. How ruuuude.
Other times I find people have zero interest in my interests or what I have to say. What's the point in trying.

Originally Posted by alieninshadows

I compare myself to a cat. If I want to be around people I'll approach them. If I don't then I'll avoid them. I rarely like to talk to anyone about my personal life and I chalk that up to the fact there are nosy people there that have asked me questions or tried bringing me into conversations that are way too inappropriately personal.

That it! That's exactly how I feel!

Example: a couple of months ago, we needed our house painted on the outside so we hired a painter for that. He came over, I dealt with him in a corteous way but keeping it "strictly business" at the same time.

Later on, by lunch time, his wife came over to bring his lunch and then she started talking to my wife. You know how it goes: small town, people around here love the old small talk, etc...

It didn't take long until she asked my wife: "... So, tell me, how and where did you two met?".

Seriously? I couldn't help but to feel outraged at that kind of intrusion. How dare she, someone we didn't even know and didn't even want to get to know, ask us such a personal question? This is for friends (if I had friends) and family only to know!

It's not that I've got anything to hide and maybe I overreacted a little, but this is nobody's business and I have the right not to be asked personal questions by complete strangers.

Anyway... well, I just realized that I am ranting grrrrrrrrrrrr sorry about that.

[vonmoxie]

I look at the connection thing this way: We're individuals, but also part of a greater organism; we have individual consciousness but also collective consciousness, and so when we are without the degree of interpersonal connection that best enables those parts of our consciousness we can feel less naturally fulfilled. But I think the degree to which this is true differs among people, how much time each of us needs alone and together, and what kinds of connections work best for us. Every contribution to the collective consciousness being unique.