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#1
Nov 29, 2015, 04:39 PM
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Why am I bothering to even try I Always find some way to screw it up. I will never find any meaning for my life, no purpose I'm in my early thirties and I already feel like I'm waiting to die.
 I don't think this will ever get better.
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"We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight ask himself if it's him or them that's insane"- Bob Dylan 20 mg Citalopram |
 Cinnamon_Stick, Fuzzybear, Nammu, retro_chic, Skeezyks
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#2
Nov 29, 2015, 06:40 PM
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What do you think your purpose should be? What do you enjoy doing? What are you good at? Everyone is good at something. You just have to find it good luck.
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 annoyedgrunt84
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#3
Nov 29, 2015, 09:34 PM
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One of my pet sayings for myself has been: "If there's a mistake that can be made... I'll find it!" I'm afraid that, to me, life is pretty-much meaningless... both my life in particular, as well as life in general. When I was young, I used to believe that, somewhere, there must be a small group of wise people who knew the true meaning of life & had transcended the normal day-to-day pointlessness of it all. And I imagined that if I kept searching, I could find & join them. It was all just a foolish waste of time & energy fueled by my fear of life & my personal ineptitude.. Eventually I just gave up &, after a while, I came to realize the meaninglessness of it all & my own ineptitude within it... It is all of this I now work to accept... with compassion...
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
| annoyedgrunt84
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| annoyedgrunt84, Nammu
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#4
Nov 29, 2015, 10:42 PM
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I don't know I know that I'm just focusing on the negatives of my life which is what people with clinical depression tend to do. I just want to feel like my life matters, but teaching is so stressful and I feel so much pressure to make it work that I feel like it's actually backfiring.
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"We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight ask himself if it's him or them that's insane"- Bob Dylan 20 mg Citalopram |
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