[cyangreenish]

Tonight is two nights after Thanksgiving. I went to the grocery store, and it was almost empty, aside from a handful of couples. Everyone else had people to be with. I didn't expect it to hit me so hard, but it's been hours and my stomach is still cramped up, can't breathe.

So here's my question. On nights like this, is it better to hide indoors, so I don't have to see that? But that's cowardly, isn't it?

[ChipperMonkey]

I think it's best to confront these fears.....when you can. If you give into your fears you will only be reinforcing them. However you shouldn't push yourself too hard. It's a balancing act to know how much to push yourself versus when it's time to take a break.

[gayleggg]

I don't think it's cowardly to avoid places when they maybe triggering to you. You can't always avoid places that trigger you but if you can it's a good thing.

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[Fizzyo]

Sometimes we're loneliest in a crowd, but I also find escaping from the four walls is helpful and you can't avoid the grocery store for ever. Remember, some of those 'hap couples' you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Every one has something that makes life difficult for them. Remembering this sometimes helps me.

Be gentle with yourself, cyangreenish, you've had a lot to cope with recently.
CANDC sometimes suggests a way of slowing your breathing so you can get your breath back. Start by counting to your breathing and gradually increase the number of counts eg. If you can only count one to your in and out breath, try to count 2 then aim for three and so on.

There is also an emergency technique I learned in psychology.
* say STOP to yourself (out loud if appropriate)
*breathe out and hold for a couple of seconds while you drop your shoulders. Open your hands and unclench your jaw.
*breathe to a count, eg. In for two and out for three.

You have probably been breathing too fast and this will help your body chemistry to go back closer to normal. Breathing out for longer than breathing in helps trigger a calming reflex in your body and this technique can buy you time to decide what to do and how to do it or even help break the anxiety reaction.

If you want to know more, CANDC or any Community Liaison will always respond to a private message.

Best wishes

[Chummy]

I don't know what's the best thing to do. Probably to work on it so you won't feel as bad when you're in crowds?
I'm going to avoid new years eve. I'm just going to sleep through it. For the last few years it has been a huge trigger for me and it would be better (and safer) to sleep through it. I can't face it yet.