[Angelique67]

Continued from here Daily Check In Ups and Downs #15 - Page 101 - Forums at Psych Central

[Angelique67]

I'm anxious and down because I have my retina appointment tomorrow and as usual I can't sleep. I put fresh ear plugs in too so I can't watch TV either unless I want to take them out and ruin them. I don't know why my agoraphobia is as bad as it is, or if my body will ever strengthen.

I felt bad today because I was going to workout with weightlifting. I decided not to do it because of some various reasons. I'll try next week. I had not worked out since late March. I have been riding my bike at least an hour a day almost every day since the 8th of this month. I had surgery last April and it has taken a little bit of time to recover completely.

[puzzclar]

I'm glad that Angelique67 started this post... I had tried to do it earlier but it didn't work... I have felt very down and even out of it because of my actions... This isn't great but the addiction is back with a vengence and I just don't know what to do. I feel so lonely.

[TheOriginalMe]

Feeling very meh. I want this depression to lift so I can enjoy my time off and feel something other than dread about starting my new job in October. I feel so guilty that everything is going well and I don't enjoy it.

[tigerlily84]

I think I have redefined the word tired since starting this job.

I am always exhausted, so I never have the energy to do anything. For once I like what I do but I don't even have time to think anymore. Not sure how much more of this I can take.

[Angelique67]

I feel like I can't get to my clinic appointment next week. I'm so exhausted and everything seems out of reach and impossible. Then when I start thinking I can do it, I stand up and my body feels like collapsing and I lose hope again.

[lizzyjb]

I'm sad too. Wating the moment when everything is going to break. As always happens...

[regretful]

Started with the natural anti-depressant of exercising again. First time in about 18 months. I was a regular gym-rat before the depression took hold. Now, I'm doing the chicken/egg thing, trying like heck to determine if it was the depression first, or the lack of exercise that led to the depression.

[TheOriginalMe]

Still feeling low and fearful. I still have another 4 weeks before my pdoc will see me. The appointment was made over a month ago. I need to see her sooner but she is just useless and couldn't care less whether she treats me or not. I don't get a choice, I asked to see someone else but she blocked it. I need to make a complaint but I fear that will only make it worse.

[Clara22]

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I feel like I can't get to my clinic appointment next week. I'm so exhausted and everything seems out of reach and impossible. Then when I start thinking I can do it, I stand up and my body feels like collapsing and I lose hope again.

Sometimes, we just need to wait until next week and then we feel better and can do what we need to do. Anticipating what I may not be able to do in the near future given my current status is my worst enemy and source of depression. I feel reflected on your words

I got out of work a little bit early today because I had an appointment with a physical therapist. Our meeting today went pretty well. I feel discouraged that I'm not where I left off with working out before I had my surgery. Being able to ride my bike everyday does help. I plan to get back into my workout routine soon. I've got to stop coming up with stupid excuses why I can't work out.

My only friend is gone this whole week. I really miss him a whole lot. I don't hear from him that much lately. If he were here, he'd be calling me everyday. I miss that.

[puzzclar]

I'm working hard to ignore myself and in the process I'm not doing well. But I have to do well there is too much at stake. The lives of 3 people hang in the balance. I have to be okay.

[lizzyjb]

Spending last days at work knowing everything is going to finish soon. Just only one week to be out of the hell.
I'm so tired. All have been exhausted. Need for some rest.

[JohnCrow]

Place I moved to suffers from crazy pants

Landlord (resident in unit) is very senior and has some memory problems. Mostly forgetting I ALREADY PAID THE DAMN JULY RENT!

I think I am going to have to ask for receipts every single month

I need a job. Being out of work makes everything so much worse. I also need a job to build up my resources so I can eventually move out of being a roommate and have the peace of living alone

Tomorrow is the anniversary of my best friend's death announcement. That was the day when we could no longer fool ourselves; he wasn't going to recover and it was only a matter of time. They gave him six months - he got a touch over 2.5

One of my symptoms of depression is a craving for raw meat. I was barely able to stop myself buying some beef strips tonight

And, although I remain an avowed atheist, any good wishes for me to get the job I just interviewed for would be appreciated. Maybe enough minds saying 'let it be' will make it so

[regretful]

Let it be...and another phrase that has helped me immensely in the past and present is, "like all other things, this too shall pass".

Originally Posted by JohnCrow

Place I moved to suffers from crazy pants

Landlord (resident in unit) is very senior and has some memory problems. Mostly forgetting I ALREADY PAID THE DAMN JULY RENT!

I think I am going to have to ask for receipts every single month

I need a job. Being out of work makes everything so much worse. I also need a job to build up my resources so I can eventually move out of being a roommate and have the peace of living alone

Tomorrow is the anniversary of my best friend's death announcement. That was the day when we could no longer fool ourselves; he wasn't going to recover and it was only a matter of time. They gave him six months - he got a touch over 2.5

One of my symptoms of depression is a craving for raw meat. I was barely able to stop myself buying some beef strips tonight

And, although I remain an avowed atheist, any good wishes for me to get the job I just interviewed for would be appreciated. Maybe enough minds saying 'let it be' will make it so

[regretful]

This life is difficult, loaded with struggles and problems - but there is something for me that gets me through the tough times of late, and that has been to wish all of you well with your personal struggle against this horrible affliction.

[Smileonmyface]

caught somewhere between the mind-racing anguish of anxieties and the numbing comatose of depression. when i'm anxious, i just want to not care and be more depressed. wishing i could care less at the moment and let it all go.
the only place i feel like i fit in at all is here. the only people i want to try for at all are my husband and my girls. the rest of the world, of life, can all go away. i have no hopes really of things getting better for me. it is more a matter of survival.

[regretful]

Originally Posted by Smileonmyface

caught somewhere between the mind-racing anguish of anxieties and the numbing comatose of depression. when i'm anxious, i just want to not care and be more depressed. wishing i could care less at the moment and let it all go.
the only place i feel like i fit in at all is here. the only people i want to try for at all are my husband and my girls. the rest of the world, of life, can all go away. i have no hopes really of things getting better for me. it is more a matter of survival.

I've been there, and it's such an uncomfortable place to exist. The support of this community helped me out tremendously (still does) to keep depression at least at an arm's length from ruling my life. I hope that you find similar support here. A friend of mine, who endured depression secondary to combat-related PTSD, told me that it won't last forever. At the time, I didn't believe him; but now I agree with what he said. I sincerely wish you well in your fight against this horrible affliction.

[Fuzzybear]

A fairly good day today. However, I was feeling pretty good at work and then someone told me that a co-worker is very sick. It might be something like pneumonia, but there were no details. I really felt bad for her because I like her a lot. She's always been nice to me. I noticed the other day that her mood was very off. It was not like her to be like that. And then she had fallen sick later that day. So it really sunk me when I heard the news about her. It made me think of myself, that it could happen to me.

Tomorrow I will meet with a Real Estate woman to talk about possibly selling my place. I feel very anxious about it. I was feeling very positive about wanting to move out of where I live. Now I'm feeling some remorse and don't know why.

[JustTvTroping]

I have good news, and weird news.

Good news: I went through a detox similar to oil pulling, and I feel much better than before (and the happiness actually lasted longer than a month. In fact, it's still going on right now).

Weird news: After reflecting on my life again (this time with less brain fog)...I may actually resent my parents for a few things (them and most of the people I've encountered in my childhood)

[lonely-and-sad]

I have all day been experiencing doubts that I can fix up the tremendous mess my life has become. But then this is the same as almost any other day for months now.

Sent from my SM-G900I using Tapatalk

[Smileonmyface]

feel very foggy today. hubby mentioned taking daughters to a butterfly sanctuary an hour's drive away and it seemed like a nice idea to get out of the house and do. a stronger pull is wanting to stay home and enjoy the quiet while they go without me...but then i miss out on family time, and that seems more depressing. so idk. i think i will try to force myself out the door...

[Curry]

I need to contact an accountant to look over my and my soon to be ex's finances. I want to see all his promises worked out in dollars and cents. I am reluctant to begin this process and I don't know why. My ex still wants the two of us to go over all the figures first. He keeps saying this after he gives me his conclusions of our finances instead of actual figures. It is like dealing with an unstable person in the dark and I want to bring in a guy with a flashlight. I saw those Dracula movies and what happened to people who went to investigate the mystery. The only one who survives is the one who drives a stake through Dracula's heart. I guess I need to man up.