[convalescence]

I was feeling good for the past few days. Sometimes I felt amazing, almost as if I was high, but it wasn't an all the time thing. It would eventually die down.

Well, today I got very irritated while driving with my brother. I started getting louder, but didn't yell at him. If he said anything minor it would flip a switch in me.

Now I'm laying in bed. I don't want to get up. I don't want to do anything. I just want to lay here. Talking to people feels like a chore. I feel like an empty shell with a rock feeling right now.

I just hope this passes soon. I'm even taking an antidepressant that was working REALLY well. I guess it pooped out or something, just like the other ones.

I'm sorry. I had it come on both ways. I don't know if either is the better way. I prefer the slower way than to have it fall on me like a mountain. I feel like I have a fighting chance.
I hope it passes soon for you.

[gayleggg]

I sympathize with you. I hope you feel better soon.

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[Fizzyo]

Hi convalescence,
I feel for you, i really hope it was a 'bad day' rather than a slide back and that your recovery continues this time.

[convalescence]

Thank you to everybody for your kind words and wishes.

I keep going through short bouts of depression following episodes of feeling better/great, and then ending up back into a dark place. I've had this happen before, but never this severe. Hopefully I can get out of this.

Convalescence, it sounds like you want the medicines to help numb the persistant awareness in your sensory but doesn't do the job. You are overly sensative to your surroundings and everything seems to want to trigger you. I can related to being aggitated and not knowing how to control it. I love the avatar "the scream" from the Auschiwitz Survivor of WWII. That really is poignant and says it all. We all want to scream from the terrors we feel inside of us. Sometimes we cannot accept, our mind cannot handle the memory deep inside or our perception of life. One thing i do for my depression when i feel it wanting to put dark thoughts in my mind is i concentrate on all the wonderful things i have in life to be grateful for. I journal and write about things. What i notice about life being difficult i write in poems as examples of mankind and the different things he lives. I hope these ideas are helpful to you. Hugs, tc

[Evaluna]

I really hope this is just a one off for you and you can pull this back. Sending lots of hugs xx

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